not sure if i posted this

I made it to Deir Debwan today.

I woke up early and ate breakfast and then attempted to go back to sleep. I didn’t.

Then on the bus to Ramallah, I met this German kid who seemed real eager to talk to me. We talked. Turned out he is a tourist with friends in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv who wanted to visit Arab cities. He hand been to Bethlahem the day before and was going to Ramallah today.

I was scared to talk to him in English in the bus. I didn’t want to be noticed.

But then I spoke to him as I was concerned for his own safety

He met some other germans on the bus and made plans to meet with them later. I took him with me to meet Saleh and family. I saw Saleh’s wife first and his son. Then we were taken into the underground wine cellar he’s making which is made from a Roman cistern that was on his property. Amazing.

Then I finally came home. Dad was inside the kitchen looking at food on the table. Yusra was outside washing the mustaba.

Dad looked really good. He walks very slow. Tiny tiny steps. I can barely make out some of the things he says.

 He’s driving Yusra crazy.

She’s still here. I gotta say I have no small amount of admiration for her. A few years back in 2013, when I came here. She and my sisters concocted a plan. The Holy Spirit alerted me to it before I even got here.

It was kind of strange – I was supposed to start my program on Al fady TV station. Father Zakaria had specifically pointed me out and said that I had waited a long time and needed to be the first to have his own show.

Just then my dad had a stroke (a few months earlier Rick had a stroke) and I had to come care for him.

I was only going to stay for the weekened because my show started that Monday. But I made a decision to stay here three months – violating my weeklong visa as Israel had allowed me.

One night – Najat and Yusraa called me into the living room in attempt to carry out the dastardly plan to take Yusara and leave me here with dad. Najat was like an icicle and Najwa had warned me before she left – Wait till you see what we have planned, so I knew from the Holy Spirit and from Najwa about this plan.

As they attempted to carry it out, Yusara said to me “There is no leaving for you. Whoever wants to take his father can take him.”

I said, “But I thought Ihmaydi was coming,”

She said, “I don’t know I’m going to pilgrimage.”

When I knew what was happening. Najat, I think said to Yusara, “Lets go.”

In anger I said, “And let her not return.”

Dad tapped me on the leg as if to stop me.

It was a cold night. Somehow I walked out and called Michael to tell him. On my way back I

Saw Amo Issa who was sitting with Samir Akel and asked him to come over and I went back to see Dad,etc.

Najat was starting to take Yusara away. Dad was pleading (he knew what he was doing) that she take the car keys. Najat kept saying, “We’re just going for a walk Yabba.”

But he kept trying to give them the car keys as if they needed it.

What happened is, as they reached the gate, that Yusara looked back at him and kissed him. As if she couldn’t leave him.

And she came back.

Her daughters, and maybe her, had concocted this plan against me but Yusara couldn’t carry it out.

She started making excuses as to how I misunderstood what she meant because I don’t speak good Arabic and whatever. I played along.

Then I sat in the patio to surf the net a little when Najwa wrote me: “I know what you did. Leave immediately or you don’t know….”

I was sure that meant she was going to send evil friends against me.

I called Sultan and went to Ramallah terrified.

The next day I was taken to Jordan by Michael. Was picked up at the Jordan border by Victor Hashwa who took me to their home. I hung out a few days and then came back to the U.S.

This may not have been as terrifying as it seemed looking back. Being known for my Christian conversion and televangelism I felt I had a huge target on my back. I was paranoid almost.

All these events fell into that narrative in my mind. They may not have been all that though there were small indications from Najwa that she could unleash an attack against me. I remember the words

“Leave immediately or you don’t know what will happen to you,”

And “…you know what I mean.” (referring to my Christianity.

Najwa had told me that people were talking about me around town. The fact that I was not just a Christian but that I was preaching against Islam on TV.

I’m back in Deir Debwan now.

What’s funny is that I am here just as I finished my 100^th episode of my program Message of Grace.

I guess I could say a few words about my program: It started out slow, in terms of calls and audience participation and then never really got the calls I thought it would

At the lowest point I can remember Peter (who  says what I think everyone thinks) said: Your boring show and No one watches this show and so on.

These words hurt a lot mainly because I believed he was right.

But in spite of this, they always wanted me to continue the show. At first it was every other week on Monday and many, many Mondays it was cancelled because of holidays that fall on Monday – Presidents Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and so on and so on. So much so that since 2013 when the show started (after I went back after being with my Dad) I, in 2018, have only 100 shows. Azad has more than twice that many. Jaffar almost three times. I’m not sure of YOhanna.

But they didn’t want to cancel the show. I was really discouraged the other day when I got no calls after a program and went and talked to the manager Riddha. I told him my concerns and said “Maybe we should cancel the program as people aren’t calling,” etc.

He was adamant that we shouldn’t. He was completely convinced of the shows importance in delivering Father Zakaria’s message in English to the Western World.

I gleefully agreed. Then another thing happened “Jacob.” Benyamin’s son got saved.

He started coming on the show with me and sharing his testimony. It became (at least on Youtube and Vimeo) some of my most popular shows.

In fact Jacob hosted me on our 100^th show.

His excitement for the Lord is wonderful as he started coming to church with me at Cottonwood and going to home group meetings where they focus on the gifts of the Spirit. He is soaring there.

So I now feel the show is in a good place. We get some original calls – from England, Europe and some in the U.S.

I must admit I wish there were more calls from Muslims. That hasn’t happened in a big way. Yet.

I feel good about the show though.

Immediately after the 100^th show I came here to see Dad again as  I was implored to do. Himaydi came and spent three months here and he left. He has been faithful and for his sake I feel I owe the family to help.

When I came yesterday it was kind of cute.

Yusara was outside spraying the front of the gate as she always is. She was positive in receiving me (I was worried she would be angry at me).

She said my dad had just been trying to go out the gate but she sent him back to the kitchen. I went to the kitchen and he was hovering around the kitchen table looking at the different foods on it. I went up and said “Hi dad.”

He said, “Heh.”

HE then came and sat with me in baranda. He looked really good but was walking very, very slow.

He started talking to me as if I understood.

At one point he said something that sounded like he was counting his children: “and the three Husein and Fatima and…” and I said ‘I am Husein.”

Then he said that he wanted to go to Najat’s house. I asked if he could. Yusra said yes.

I walked with him, holding his hand like he used to hold my hand when I was a boy.

When we reached the supermarket near Hachooret Awdah that square building that no one will tear down and serves as a traffic control device – the mayor of Deir Debwan came out of the supermarket. HE shook hands with dad and said, “See you haven’t been forgotten.”

He then said to me that he like my guitar playing on facebook and said that I might be able to do something for the village.

But he said: “Don’t do anything Christian. Do nationalist.”

Although there is a negative aspect to what he said, there was the good aspect that everyone knows that I’m a Christian who plays Christian music.

There is also the fact that he was so lighthearted about it. He actually invited us to go see him in the belediya.

Funny.

It made me think the opposition to my Christianity isn’t as strong as I thought here.

Then we went and saw Najat and had lunch. I saw Anoos and Amira and Nehaya

Hanien is in America with her sisters

I slept last night really good. From about 10 p.m. to about 6 a.m.

I’m writing this now.

We don’t have internet here yet. I have to call them today to find out why

Yusara opened up to me a little yesterday night talking about the way my dad is driving her crazy. How she has to pick him up and has no strength in her body to keep holding him.

I want to go to church today. Najat is going to Ramallah, I asked if I could tag along so I could go to church but dad an Yusra are still sleeping. I have to help get him bathed etc. before I go.

There is one other strange thing that happened before I came here. I got an apartment in Irvine with Shadi. I am only able to be gone for three months because of it as my visa is also for three months.

Najat joked about this yesterday telling dad she wished I was only going to be here one month.

I have plans to pay rent for two months that I am here. It has been a bumpy ride at the new apartment. I’ve argued briefly with his mother when she came to Shadi’s defense. But things were smoothed out.

Shadi himself apologized to me for the problems. HE also let me park my car in our only allowed parking slot while I’m gone.

We went and saw Khitam and her husband yesterday at their farm. It was kind of fun. I could see some of the archaelogicial historical structures on the hill near their property. Impressive if real.

I am going to Ramallah with Najat. I took a shower in the miniscule stream of water that flowed out.

CAn