Today is actually Easter Eve -- my 40th Birthday spiritually

I am in Deir Debwan with dad feeling really bored. There's a little flicker inside t

hat I feel. The Holy Ghost that was poured on me the night before Easter 1978.

Father in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
Thy Kingdom Come
Thy Will be done
On Earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us
Lead us not in to temptation
But deliver us from evil
For Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory forever.
Amen.

Mountain Top vid

November Rain to whitther

A feature of my last trip here was my oft played song November Rain. This was mostly because of a great reaction from the audience at Fox's coffee house in Long Beach to my rendition of November Rain with the backing track.
I watched it over and over again and then downloaded the original version onto the tiny phone I bought for I  think 50 shekels in Deir Debwan. Along with Freebird this became the anthem of my last trip.

This time I've kind of done a full circle to my first trip to this house -- it was in 1989 when I graduated from college and came to see the kids who I didn't know.

At that time I used to listen to Petra's More Power to Ya all the time with Judas Kiss and Rose Colored Stained Glass Windows. This time around I am listening to those same songs. I managed to download for free several songs of More Power and Beat the System. I've been listening to them incessantly.

My usual practice is to give Dad a bath and dress him. Then we have breakfast. Then I take him to the mosque to pray. On the way I tell him to P2J. Over and over.

Then I leave and walk down Share'h al As'hal and up again to the Amir Bakery and get a cup of coffee and a water usually. It's four shekels for both. I sit on a fence and drink them and listen to Petra and one song by DC Talk -- Jesus Freak -- Stairway to Heaven and November Rain and Freebird are still in the catalog of the small chip that I bought at the DD Jawal store.

Dad looked good today with his sharp jacket and Ray Ban glasses.

One thing that I don't think I've written about is Dad picking up specks of dust and dirt off the carpet. He always does it. HE could be sitting down on the chair and sees a little piece of paper on the floor he will look at it, point at it, reach for it and then take it to the garbage. He'll go all the way to the kitchen to give it to Yusara. He's been doing this for years.

It breaks my heart because it shows he's looking for something to do. He's bored.

He just sits and does nothing all day. He wants to do something

Been thinking of Rahab this morning;
She was concerned for her family and saved them all. This is what he Bible says:

22 Joshua said to the two men who had spied out the land, “Go into the prostitute’s house and bring her out and all who belong to her, in accordance with your oath to her.” 23 So the young men who had done the spying went in and brought out Rahab, her father and mother, her brothers and sisters and all who belonged to her. They brought out her entire family and put them in a place outside the camp of Israel.

24 Then they burned the whole city and everything in it, but they put the silver and gold and the articles of bronze and iron into the treasury of the Lord’s house. 25 But Joshua spared Rahab the prostitute, with her family and all who belonged to her, because she hid the men Joshua had sent as spies to Jericho—and she lives among the Israelites to this day

There was mercy for this prostitute. 

She said:  When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.

Jericho Road

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0C6NtVwjLM

Went to Jericho with Dad and Yusra, Najat, Anoos, Haha and Amora. Took Dad to mosque he prayed and I took him home.
On the way to JEricho I told Najat the story of the Good Samaritan which happened on that road

one thing I"m tense about is the possibility that they are getting ready to trick me again like they did in 2013.
yusra went for a long walk and was gone a long time. I was nervous she wasn't coming back. She did at the end.
Najat also bought me a new pair of shoes -- white pumas. not bad
better than what I had

when I get scared like that it makes me reevaluate my presence here. Why am I here?

Back in Deir Debwan

I made it to Deir Debwan today.

I woke up early and ate breakfast and then attempted to go back to sleep. I didn’t.

Then on the bus to Ramallah, I met this German kid who seemed real eager to talk to me. We talked. Turned out he is a tourist with friends in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv who wanted to visit Arab cities. He hand been to Bethlahem the day before and was going to Ramallah today.

I was scared to talk to him in English in the bus. I didn’t want to be noticed.

But then I spoke to him as I was concerned for his own safety

He met some other germans on the bus and made plans to meet with them later. I took him with me to meet Saleh and family. I saw Saleh’s wife first and his son. Then we were taken into the underground wine cellar he’s making which is made from a Roman cistern that was on his property. Amazing.

Then I finally came home. Dad was inside the kitchen looking at food on the table. Yusra was outside washing the mustaba.

Dad looked really good. He walks very slow. Tiny tiny steps. I can barely make out some of the things he says.

 He’s driving Yusra crazy.

She’s still here. I gotta say I have no small amount of admiration for her. A few years back in 2013, when I came here. She and my sisters concocted a plan. The Holy Spirit alerted me to it before I even got here.

It was kind of strange – I was supposed to start my program on Al fady TV station. Father Zakaria had specifically pointed me out and said that I had waited a long time and needed to be the first to have his own show.

Just then my dad had a stroke (a few months earlier Rick had a stroke) and I had to come care for him.

-------------------------

What’s funny is that I am here just as I finished my 100^th episode of my program Message of Grace.

I guess I could say a few words about my program: It started out slow, in terms of calls and audience participation and then never really got the calls I thought it would

At the lowest point I can remember Peter (who  says what I think everyone thinks) said: Your boring show and No one watches this show and so on.

These words hurt a lot mainly because I believed he was right.

But in spite of this, they always wanted me to continue the show. At first it was every other week on Monday and many, many Mondays it was cancelled because of holidays that fall on Monday – Presidents Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and so on and so on. So much so that since 2013 when the show started (after I went back after being with my Dad) I, in 2018, have only 100 shows. Azad has more than twice that many. Jaffar almost three times. I’m not sure of YOhanna.

But they didn’t want to cancel the show. I was really discouraged the other day when I got no calls after a program and went and talked to the manager Riddha. I told him my concerns and said “Maybe we should cancel the program as people aren’t calling,” etc.

He was adamant that we shouldn’t. He was completely convinced of the shows importance in delivering Father Zakaria’s message in English to the Western World.

I gleefully agreed. Then another thing happened “Jacob.” Benyamin’s son got saved.

He started coming on the show with me and sharing his testimony. It became (at least on Youtube and Vimeo) some of my most popular shows.

In fact Jacob hosted me on our 100^th show.

His excitement for the Lord is wonderful as he started coming to church with me at Cottonwood and going to home group meetings where they focus on the gifts of the Spirit. He is soaring there.

So I now feel the show is in a good place. We get some original calls – from England, Europe and some in the U.S.

I must admit I wish there were more calls from Muslims. That hasn’t happened in a big way. Yet.

I feel good about the show though.

Immediately after the 100^th show I came here to see Dad again as  I was implored to do. Himaydi came and spent three months here and he left. He has been faithful and for his sake I feel I owe the family to help.

Cold in Jerusalem

It’s cold in Jerusalem tonight

I’m sitting by the Herod’s Gate here writing

Spent the night at Metropole Hotel

Am going back now for a second.

Walked around the Old City and I saw

Friends of long, long time ago

There was Bassem there was Rima too

There was Frank and his brother, two

There was Maron as a wooden cross I sought

I didn’t find the right one, anointing oil I bought

I think tomorrow I will go to the village

I did my usual trek around the Holy grounds

Walked all over Ben Yahuda and Hillel street too

I’m getting kind of hungry I hope I’ll find a restaurant.

I used to love to be here

But now I find I must

The desire isn’t anything

Nothing like it was

But maybe its like marriage

It starts out alright

But then as hardships mount

The spouses sometimes fight

But after a long time

They find they struck it through

And then they sigh in relief

That they didn’t let go.

I also saw Lina on her way to church

And Jack, the red head he was nice

Remembered me it seemed.

Two muslims speaking Hebrew sat near me

As I’m sitting writing.

Must seem kind of strange to them

I must assume.

The walls and all the buildings are a sense of permanence

I move around so much but here things stay the same

The walls and shops and symbols

The lights and all the styles

Continue through the years

Longer than a while

In America

Things change like the wind

Here I come and find the same

Again and again.

Pangs of guilt knock lightly

Mother and my dad

One from each side of the world

Pulling on my heart

Each one has a claim

Yet heaven from above

Needs and calls with fervor

A call of higher love

How Lord have I failed

How Lord have I turned

How Lord have I failed to be

The things that should have been

Coulda, Shouda, Woulda

That’s what the people say

I wonder if the Lord

Sees it in that way.

It’s cold in Jerusalem

I’m sitting  by the gate

There were bands playing by the Jaffa Gate

Three, two were big with Arabs and with Jews

Playing melodies that made me think

Of Um Kolthoum

It’s cold in Jerusalem

Green Plaid and sweater too

Called a pullover I thinkTogether they seem warm.

The Muslim woman who is with the man and speaking Hebrew

Is smoking with a grace that shows she’s done this before

I think they’re trying to impress me

Sitting on these stone benches

For men on their way to aging

Comfort for our aches

I’m young enough to takes these treks

I’m not sure how much longer

No particular aches or pains

Beyond the usual tiredness

It’s cold in Jerusalem

I’ll see my dad tomorrow

Last time I saw him

HE said “Oh my sorrow.”

Knowing that I heard him

Hoping I’d respond

Aware of who and how I am

He didn’t linger long

He knew who’d stand beside him

When push came to shove

He held on to my hand

As does a father’s love

It’s cold in Jerusalem

The wind blows slow and cold

Seems to send a shiver

City of the soul

It’s hard not to be caught up

But sanctimony ends

When you get involved

With problems of our friends

We all could have done better

Or at least some could

Some actually did it right

And they seem to be so good

Those of us in pride

Walked in our own way

The Hebrew speaking smoking Muslims

Got up and went away

One thing I did not do

Was go to the western wall

I kind of wanted to go

I might go after all

I might stay another night

Go home Saturday

No one knows just where I am

Except my mom so far away

Maybe she will tell

Then all will quickly know

If that is the case

Tomorrow home I’ll go

Not sure how much longer

Dad will be around

I’m glad I’ll get to see him

And let him know I love him

It’s cold in Jerusalem

The nations here still flow

To the Holy places

Like a river flow

Prophecy fulfilled

Here before our eyes

Its clearer and more clearly seen

As miracles pass by.

Some are so contented and

Don’t seek for themselves

And more attention

Then that which all folks get

But others they speak louder

It seems as if to say

Look at me I’m special

IN such a special way

It’s cold in Jerusalem

Is this another song

If it is I have to stop

Because it will be too long

Maybe its symphony

With Rainy Day In Ramallah

It’s cold in Jerualem.

Arabs standing by

Women by a car that’s parked

By the Herod Gate

They have their ideas

OF what this place will be

When the King of King Returns

Then Everyone will see

The One Who was pierced

In His hands and feet

To purchase our forgiveness

And meet our greatest need

For Him and Him alone

The purpose of our lives

He alone gives the Spirit

Who Makes the dead alive

It’s cold in Jerusalem

I’ll be going  now

To my hotel bed so warm

To lay my head down.

back in JFK

I’m at JFK airport. Been here many, many times before coming to and from Israel and Sweden. I always remember my firsts time coming here.  I was 9 years old and was with dad and Fatima. Mom had left and Dad was snatching us away to his village. Darat al Ayam. That was 1972 – October – 46 years ago. Half a century. I’m still OK looking.  I still have my health pretty much. Thank God. Going to see dad who is very weak.

lip twitching

How to stop lip twitching

There are a variety of causes of lip tremors, and therefore a wide variety of treatment methods. For some people, the easiest way to stop lip twitching is eating more bananas or other foods high in potassium. For others, getting Botox injections is the best way to get rid of the tremors. Talk with your healthcare provider about what’s causing your lip twitching and the best way to stop this symptom.

If you haven’t seen a healthcare provider yet, you may want to try one of these at-home remedies:

·         Reduce your daily coffee intake to less than three cups, or cut out caffeine altogether.

·         Reduce or cut out alcohol consumption altogether.

·         Eat more foods high in potassium like broccoli, spinach, bananas, and avocado.

·         Apply pressure to your lips using your fingers and a warm cloth.

March 2018

It’s 10:11 a.h. I’m in the Tom Bradley Terminal at the LAX one my way to New York. My flight starts boarding at 11:45.

I’m really groggy tired.

A guy came and sat closer to me than I am comfortable with but its cool.

No one hardly here.

Just saw a sigh that says “I am the real cross.” It’s a red cross ad. Oh jusThe guy wen awayt saw it says “I am the Red Cross.”

Last two days been whirlwind of grace and blessings.

I did show with Jacob yesterday had like six calls. One from someone I didn’t know. It was cool.

Riley, Andy, Karen, Lady from London, Dwaye called twice.

Ehab said he was so happy.

Jake said he’d like to host my program while I’m gone. I said sure go ahead.

If you love something let it go. It it comes back it was yours if it doesn’t it never was.

Brother Monir send me 2,000 – 500 for Pauline; 1,000 for lambs. 500 for me.

Went to breakfast with Paul he gave me 1,000

Parked my car in our space.

Jacob brought me here. I told him a lot of things. He had lots of questions.

Got message from Adel about Abed.

Will go from here to New York and on to Tel Aviv.

Mom called and as usual was very encouraging. She wanted me to greet Ahmed Shanara and Dad an Najat.

N. called today I didn’t answer.

I think they want to find out when I’m arriving. I want to have one day free so I can rest in Jerusalem

For one night before I go to DD.

Another  thing: Last night my bottom lip started throbbing or twitching I am not sure which. It’s the first time it’s happened. I had fallen asleep watching I think Judge Judy or a preacher from Riverside who was talking about the 8 walls of God’s keeping.

When I awoke my bottom lip seemed to be twitching. I wouldn’t really call it twitching. It felt more like it was throbbing but I’m not sure if that is right.

I looked it up on the internet and the two words I found were twitching and throbbing.  I don’t know which is right.

One lady wrote a post she is 41 years old and was scared that she was having  a stroke.

First time ever. One thing I read is it could be caffeine related or b1 vitamin. It said caffeine removes potassium or something.

The plane is boarding – I am in zone three. It’s now just for zone one and priority and military service members.

Was so blessed to get this ticket for less than $700.

I even got the insurance for $40.

Mom called as I was preparing to play at Beach Hut Deli last night. As always so wonderful.

Also on Sunday Aimen was preaching at Pastor Emil’s church and they called me to go. It was daylong conference. IT was great to see him. He is wonderful. I know him and his wife Hala from the confrerence with Tom and Teresa in Colorado years ago.

I went and saw the Carburys on Sunday night too. It was good they had some women gifts for their sister in Bethlahem. Was great to see them as always.

I bought flowers for Shad’s Mom and thanked her for her kindness and help in getting Shadi and me the apartment. There’s been some tension. Largely because of my discomfort with having her here. Father forgive me please.

A few days before I also had to have the sleep test. I went to the sleep center and was wired up. I failed to sleep but I think it might have worked anyway to see if I have sleep apnea.

Father, I am such a jerk sometimes. I have been a jerk here at the airport. I was seated between two people going to Tel Aviv ad they were really nice to me. Jewish. I could have been nicer. I wasn’t not nice but could have preached the Gospel.

I just had a large double chocolate cookie and my first cup of coffee -- $7 – yikes.

Last night I had fish and chips at Norms. Thank You Jesus for Norms.

Haz has a  vid about his movie.  And says coming soon.

Trump will be in Jerusalem when I am there like Obama was in Jerusalem when I was there last time.  I could board now. Maybe I will.

Let me melt in surrender to You Lord Jesus.

THE FAR LEFT LANE IS 3 WHICH IS WHAT I AM.

Im in New York now. I think we will be taking the same plane all the way to tel aviv. Maybe that’s why it was so inexpensive.

On the plane I watched Back to the Future and Simpsons and tanked. Sat by a Japanese lady who was quiet.

Our plane leaves 11:28 about 2 hours from now.

Lips were twitching on the plane too but funny because there was a piece of dark chocolate with the meal and on the website last night it said that dark chocolate was good for whateve conditions it was that led to this twitching throbbing

I think I’m feeling less guilty about going == as if it was too easy. But maybe it was God’s grace that eased everything for me.