dad

there's been a few times I've wrestled with dad to stop him from taking his blankets off and and his clothes.

once 1he was on teh toilet and was trying to do something. i controlled his hands just to let him know i was stronger than him

another time i shoved him for taking his clothes off or peeing on

another time i yelled at him for taking a dump right after i changed his daiper

tonight i fought with him

i kept putting his blankets back on him and telling him to go back to sleep


i felt bad for everything tonight
1. i had to leave a meeting early to come help them put him to sleep
2. Yusra went on her "I can't do this...." shenanigans telling me not to be late again
3. Dad kept getting up. once he started to take his clothes off as if to take a bath and it was 10 p.m.

I feel bad for a few things:
1. that i don't have money to take him and her to America with me
2. thyt she has to put up with this and she has
3. that Ihmaydi puts up with it
4. Where JEsus said let the dead bury their dead

i worry he might be in pain
i see the

My uncle

my uncle has been nice to me lately. he isn't usually nice to me. he has always been harsh and disappointed with me. but lately he has been nice coming over all the time. he told us stories of the family from long ago. like the deaf man story.....

little conf.

this morning y. put the TV so loud i asked her to turn it down.... she said it will guide you and I said Jesus guided me. I can't follow a man who married a 6 year old girl. She said stop this "kufur," it is still loud. Dad is sitting there watching it.

I am waiting to hear from the JEricho minsitry to see if they have a chair for dad. Taysir told me to call them and tell them I worked with them.

went around and saw Ibrahim the Halak and Atta and it was good to see them. I went to Beledia to see the mayor but he wasn't there. He is in America. The vice mayor is here his name I think is Abu Samir.

things are quiet. I'm sitting in my room listening to Bethel Music.

alot is going on on teh Temple Mount.

some Israelis are thinking of building a synagogue and it is likely to start a religious war. Iran will get involved through its proxies.....



With every breath I'm going to sing of the goodness of God

Mashnis

just found out from Akel that our neeighborhood is known for magic and witchcraft. He it is called the neighborhood of witches for the past 50 years.

crazy night

spent most of yesterday with Dad in the house. went out a while with Najat to ramallah and to the doctor to see about dad's perscription for cancer.

i drove.

then we came back. on the way dad we talked about the cancer..i told everythinig as dad sat and listened.

then when we got back, dad wouldn't take off his coat and keffiyeh and I and Yusra both tried and he wouldn't. Finally, he took hold of me and started talking, real important like. I didn't understand. It was all over the place as far as I could tell. Finally he forced me to take him outside to the gate. I was trying to get him to come back in he wouldn't. 

he said my wife and good and a few other words i could figure out

finally he had me walking him out to the street. I called Najat and told her that I was worried about him

she came with Nehaya

we talkead until we reached the end of the street and then Najat came. he walked really good
I thought we could keep walking but I was worried he would get weak and we wouldn't be able to make it back then Najat came. it was night time at the corner

we got in and drove around. ended up getting him Chicken at Hardees. He was really funny telling Najat where to dirve an threatening to hit her with his cane. When we went by the DCO Najat asked which way, DAd said left. She said they will shoot us. HE said "Shoot you." I think he was joking.

i guess I learned not ot just let him push me around. he just keeps pushing me outside and to do things.

we are looking to get him a wheel chair

Angry taxis

Sunday

I got up and took a shower and went to Church. But the bus drivers were all mean to me. I thought they might know about me. One refused to let me get on. Then I stood at a corner and another one came by and he wouldn't let me on. He  told me to go to the first bus (the one that told me there is no room for me). I did and he again said there is no room for me. I went back and stood at the corner. One bus was just parked in teh middle and wouldn't let anyone on.
Finally the second guy said "Ok come uncle" when I asked him how much the fare was he didn't answer me.

When got to church saw Abu Wardeh and his family they said they wanted me to go have tea with them. I also saw Firas and he sat next to me. Saw all old friends.
had lunch, they want me to preach on Sunday the 24 and 31 because Pastor will be gone...

i got a shareeha for jawal

when i was leaving, I saw Abu Habaas and he was nice to me so it was a a nice taxi driver to counteract the negative taxi drivers.
a lady on the taxi knew everything about Mashnis.

went with Najat and Dad to Al Bayuma whatever was concerned taht  N and Y were going to play their game again and Amo Issa came over and stayed for an hour telling us stories about the past of the the family. Wonderful things:
Daoud Al Mashni whose name is on the Shahid board at teh top of village was Amo Mahmoud's brotehr who was killed by Brits.
Ahmed Al Mashni was the brotehr of Amo Ahmed who was killed in Modesto
Also Dad's older brother who was younger than Shaher was FAyez but he died

Also my grandfather Hussein spent years in San Francisco and made money to build the house for himself and his brotehrs. He was a very good man

I bet he got saved in Frisco.....

Back in Deir Debwan 2019

after much internal struggle and the fact that Ihmaydi paid for the ticked I came back to Deir Debwan.

it's been a rough couple of months. I had my tizzy with the roomate situation and waited for quiet a while to get my new place. I stayed at Pastor Azad's house. It was quite a time. I helped translate his time at the North American Baptist conference. It was fun I learned alot. He passed. Not everyone did.

He is very impressive in his holiness, love and kindness.

While there I really learned that maybe not everyone is as much of a failure as I am in Christianity and ministry.

the whole cancer thing seems to be over with and not a problem

I came to Holy Land. Was easy in airport.
Watched Whitney and most of Star is Born in the plane

Went to Jerusalem the first night and second night at Metropole Hotel in Ramallah

very reluctantly came to D.D.. Called Najat she came and got me this morning. I waited outside hotel in cold for about an hour and half


Am in the baranda now


Dad is much weaker than before. He barely moves his legs at all when he walks.
Very

i sat with him and watched Redd Foxx and then Um Kolthoum

Yusra is being very nice. Made dinner.

I went with Dad to Najat's and then we went and saw Khitam and her husband. Khatima and her son and daughter in law and granddaughter were there too. Was fun to see everyone there

Lord Jesus. Can Your glory come here. Through one such as me.

Dad seems to understand and tries to communicate

I understood a word he said: pointing to himself he said "Sick"

I saw Amo Issa. He came by a little. Dad was acting up and he left.

I told him about the colon situation and he said he had the same thing

At the Metropole Motel I had I think what were two great revelations:

1. The Coptic Priest spoke about the Word proceeding from teh Father. HE said there is a difference between a thing proceeding and a thing being created. When a thing is made it is a creation. When a thing is of the same nature it proceeds and is a Son. A Son is different from a house. One is made one is of the same nature.

the other is that Jesus said "If I testify of Myself my testimony is not true. There is another Who bears witness of Me. It is He of Whom you say He is Your God.

The works....

I am outside in the baranda now. Dad didn't sleep last night becuase he was so excited about coming to pick me up.

i'm writing this at 240 a.m. i went to bed kind of early like 930 or 10. I listened to some lady praying and quoting scripture. I heard a small noise outside the door. It sounded like someone dropped a stick or something. I got up and saw Dad lying on the floor. He pushed the sofa away from his bed and while holding onto the wooden chair it fell over.

his hat was on the tile behind him
he was so light to pick up. i picked him up and put him on the chair.

then i put him back in the bed.

Yusra got up and complained a little. i told her to go back to bed. she did