At the airport again

It's been a while since I've been here at LAX to leave the country. I clearly remember 1989. I had just graduated from college UNR and mom won 1,500 she gave me to go see my brothers and sisters in Israel. It had been 15 years since I saw them. It was pure heaven to be with them.

I remember my time at LAX back then. There men wearing floral island shirts and wearing those clunky Danish style shoes. On the plane they played the themes of all the James Bond movies: Nobody does it better; Goldfinger; Live and Let die; For your eyes only.

It felt like the whole world was organized like a movie for me to watch. Things were like they were supposed to be.

A few years later, I went to Croatia with Rusty Bolton. It was during the war. God had laid the plight of the Bosnian refugees on my heart a few weeks earlier and Rusty came up to me a few days later and asked if I was interested to go to Croatia with him and distribute medicine and write about it for the newspaper as I was working for the Daily Sparks Tribune at the time.

It was shortly thereafter in 1993, that I went to Youth with a Mission to go to a mission trip to Croatia, again. It was wonderful. We ministered to Bosnian refugees.

Then began the great travelling adventure in 1999 when I was sent as a missionary to the Holy Land by SLBC. I was there from 1999-2007. I would travel in a nd out of the country every few months. Many times, I travelled to Turkey, Cyprus; Spain, Egypt, Jordan, Iraq. I loved travelling.

In 2007, I went to Sweden and was here for three years. I travelled often to England, Holland, France, Belgium, Germany. I also went to Norway and Finland, Hong Kong and the U.S. and Jordan. It was wonderful.

But then in 2010, I came back to the U.S. and I didn't want to travel anymore. I liked staying in my city wherever that may be: Huntington Beach, Garden Grove; Santa Ana. I started playing music in open mikes, playing Christianized (by me) versions of Stairway to Heaven; Freebird; Nothing Else Matters; The Rain Song; etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX7SQDsh4i0


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h7s5PpEpyI


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irsCmn_ZKBw



https://www.facebook.com/smashni/videos/vb.655455879/10152875053950880/?type=3&theater

I did go back to the Holy Land in 2013 to the HOly Land when my dad hada stroke. I spent three months there and came back. I didn't leave the country except for a short trip to Mexico.

Today, I am on my way to the Holy Land again. Dad broke his hip and needs help. Ihmayde has been with him for several months and its only fair that I go and help. I will try to go three months.

I didn't know for sure if I should leave all my ministries here to go. I had some miracles along the way. For one, Ed allowed me to park my car at his home for my time in the Holy Land. Then Monir helped me by giving me the price of the ticket.

Then a few days ago, I found out that my old passport had expired on April 2016. I found out three days before I was to travel. I looked desperately around the internet for ways to get a new passport. There were headings like "Emergency Passport," etc. I found a place in Irvine I called Tuesday morning (I was to travel Friday).  

I called but they said they only had a few emergency passports a month but they used up their allowances for this month -- June. I was desperate. I read a Huffington Post article that said the best, cheapest way was to go through the Passport Office of U.S. I tried through Los Angeles and the soonest appointment was June 23. I was travelling the 17th. Then I tried San Francisco and it was the same June 23.

Then  I called the national office and a woman told me to try San Diego and she made an appointment for me the next day, Wednesday. I went  and took picture and did everything and spent six hours in San Diego that morning and I got my passport.

The lady told me the soonest they could get it to me was the next day, thursday at 3 p.m. I said that was OK, I had no choice. The she said, "Let me ask another agent," and she did and was told they could get my passport that same day at 3 which they did.

Now I am in the airport. Ed and Elaine were a great blessing. I had dinner there last night. I saw kids and everything. It was great. But when the boys took me home they listened to Led Zeppelin the whole way home: The Ocean, When the Levee Breaks; and Stairway to Heaven. I felt bad like  I was the reason they were listening to that.

Earlier that day, I went to Long Beach where I recorded my Christian Stairway to Heaven at Brandon's house. He is starting a Christian record label. I also recorded Rain Song. I think the guitar solo sounded hot. Also, the night before I played Freebird at the DRNK coffee house. Rodney played bass with me and I had a backing track. I also did Everyone Wants to be Free. A strange thing, Sean, who does the Fox Coffee House open mike, fell off his chair at the open mike and we had to pick him up and put him back on the chair. I was behind him and tried to comfort him. Then he stood up and fell again and hit his head on teh edge of hte table. It was really scary.

I asked him if he wanted to leave and that I would drive him home. He said he had a ride. i walked him out with a couple of other guys and he went in a car and went home. It was my turn immediately and I played Freebird and Everyone..... It was well recieved but I didn't feel like it "soared." It was OK. I did "soar" the night before at the Wine Bar. I played two of my songs "Gonna Fly" and "Shannon." I was greatly complimented. It was great. I also told "Little Dorothy" that I was a Christian and the Jesus could give her peace. She was 100 percent receptive  but she did let me pray for her.

Another thing that is going on right now is that Robert Plant and JImmy Page are in a Los Angeles court being sued for Stairway to Heaven rip off of the opening rift. (The same day that I was recording my Christian Stairway to Heaven." lol

Also there had been the massacre at the Orlando gay bar a few days ago and then the alligator that dragged the kid to his death in Orlando, Disney resort.

Lots of things going on. Of late, I have been on a Judge Judy binge. I have been watching her non stop on Youtube. It started with watching the Queen of the Court on Dromebox. The "queen" says that he loves court shows. I never really watched one so I started watching Judge Judy and fell in love with it. It was a form of self flagellation. I kept imagining what she would say to me if I was in front of her: "You're an idiot," that's the best line. It's insulting enough to sting but harmless enough to be funny. Then she always asks "Where do you work?" "You have to have a full time job."

She also had a great exchange with deadbeat dad musician. She asked the dad what kind of work he did. He said, he was a musician. She asked him if he had any gigs. He said, "At the Beach Hut Deli," (where I always play on Mondays). She asked, "Is that like Carnagie Hall?"

Then there was another episode where there was a guy who was a Mashni. I posted that one on Facebook.

It so funny to watch her berate all the lazy druggies who come before her.

I am at the LAX now. Mokhtar brought me here. He was very nice to do it. I left my apartment in Santa Ana. I gave away everything - sofa; bed; bookshelfs; drawers; refrigerator; tables, coffee maker.

Great.

Threw away a lot of stuff. Lots of garbage.

I filled all my stuff into the Trailblazer and parked it in front of Ed's house. He was so helpful to do that.

I am sitting here at 11:58. My plane is at 1:45. I came early, as usual.

Open Mikes:

Fox's -- I had some struggles there as I felt Sean was mean to me. I said so once. He objected but I insisted. Things are OK since then. But then his incident at DRNK that I wrote about. There's been a few milestones there: When I first did November Rain with backing track it was really well received. Kids started waving cell phones in the air. Then my Stairway to Heaven, I did there almost has 4,000 views.

DRNK -- I like this one because I get to try my backing tracks. I did: Freebird: Stairway: November Rain and Don't Cry. Don't Cry was really the best I've done (lead wise). It's cool that he kid who leads it, Brandon is a Christian.

Wine Bar -- Only went there once but was so well received. Great time

Bogarts -- I like this one because the kid who does the board really like when I play what he calls "scorching guitar solos." Gives me confidence to try new things.

Beach Hut Deli -- Used to be with RD who  I really liked. Now Cris Cruz doing it and he is brutally honest. He tells me that my solos aren't that big a deal. He encourages me to stick to my acoustic stuff.  I appreciate his comments.

Bar 20 -- Not there so often but usually I'm the first (lets get him out of the way) act. But its always fun and I like the people I play with there. Tom Stemburg from Brass Monkey days is there.

Augustinos -- Love going there. Great food and friends. I got to do November Rain. Not earth shattering but I was complimented about lead. One guy told me "YOu're not Slash."

Gypsy Den -- The guy there hardly ever complients me. He always seems angry and he always puts me last. Have stopped going there. Used to go every week.

Knowlwood -- Went there a long time on Friday nights. Had fun. I did several songs for the first time there: CArry On My Wayward Son; NOvember Rain; Simple Man; Freebird; Stairway. This one closed down.

Red Barrel -- This was a Tuesday night favorite. Had great fun there and felt like family with waitress Emily. But this one closed down.

Shades of Africa -- Haven't been there in a while. They really got into the Kwanza thing. But  I go there sometimes.

Georges - I went once to George's it is the same night as DRNK. I like both will alternate.

Rebel Bite -- I've been there a few times. It's OK. A little dirty in the comedy department. Also raunchy suff. But Shy runs its and I go every few months. A little hard to get on list. On Monday, I played "Gonna Fly" and "Everyone...." Was great.

Royal Cup -- I don't like the atomosphere here because of the Bhuddas on the mantle behind where we play. I went there a few times and have stopped pretty much. Had some good times there.

Hennessey's In Laguna Beach -- This one was really becoming fun. I went there with Michael Bashir. I did my own music and then I did NOvember Rain and there was the kid Christian who like to do sing like Axl Rose and he sang it was great. Then we did "Don't Cry," together. HE was amazing. But this one closed down too.

DromeBox -- I've played there several times. Teh gigs are in the DromeBox archive. Have enjoyed it. Took friends with me twice and those two times didn't really work out that great. But the other times were really good.

Sam Ash -- This was the main one for a long, long time but now that Rodney's gone, it isn't that great anymore. I've been there but it doesn't seem to draw people like before.  Still it has a warm spot in my heart since it was the first place I played.

Anyway, I am at airport. They brought by bomb sniffing dogs a few times that smelled my stuff - I had beef jerkey. lol

No one even flinches when the huge German Shepherd comes up to them and smells their stuff. Strange days.

Need to go pee.

I'm in Tel Aviv. I got in so easy. Halleluyah

I got a 3 month Stay Permit. I can stay till Sept 19

I am sitting outside the airport now. I will go to Jerusalem and sleep there and then go to Chruch in morning and then I will go to Deir Debwan.

Monday --

I took off this morning from Jerusalem. I came on the bus from Jerusalem to Ramallah. Then I came from Ramallah to Deir Debwan in a taxi. Ihmaydi was giving dad a bath. HE smiled when he saw me.

Amo Aziz came by and we spoke a while about Khaled and Walid

Also Amo Isa came by and was very nice. It was great to see him.

Najat is going to make dinner

I can’t understand dad hardly at all. I fed him breakfast and he didn’t eat much. HE is sleeping now in the living room.

I haven't called anyone yet because I want t to surprise them in Deir Debwan

Glory, glory. Halleluya. Glory, glory.

Waiting for Sharout its. 60 shekels to go to Jerusalem. I will rent hotel room tonight

I will call Hmaydi when I get in

Sunday: 19th

I decided to spend a few nights in Jerusalem before going to Deir Dibwan. I got a room at this hotel for 250 a night, ugggh. I was rude as usual to the guy at the desk. I got a falafel and bread and some oranges and had a decent filling meal.

In morning I went to Old City. Saw my old friend at the candy place where I used to always hang out. He did accept the Lord at one point I don’t know where he stands now. He told me instantly that he had been seeing me on TV. He said I was talking about “Mak’r” the deciever. I have done episodes about that.

He told me I was “shaki” or “naughty.”

That scared me a little. I went to church but it was closed so I went to New City. Hung out at Ben Yahuda had coffee. Watched a guy play guitar by a place called “Lion of Judah.”

Then I went back to Old City and hung out at Christ Chruch for a while and finally decided to go back to the chruch. I saw Siman and Fatula first, then Pastor Mazen and Sohail and his wife. I also saw Shereen and her husband and Victor. It was great to see them.

Then I went to Western Wall and Temple Institute. The Temple Institute really has developed since I was last there.

They insist that they already have started the Temple

Two: They say blatantly “we” know where the Ark of the Covenant is, in tunnels underneath the temple. They also say that the Dome of the Rock is the location of the Holy of Holies.

Whew!!!

Then I went to Henry’s store in OLd City and spent a few hours talking with him. His Sister the blonde died a few months ago. He seemed tired poor guy. While I was there a guy came in and said instantly that he recognized me from programs with Father Zakaria. I pretended it wasn’t me as I wasn’t sure who or waht he was. Then he told me to take my hat off, I did and he said, “It’s you.”

I told him it was. Then his wife came in and said she recognized me too. I asked them not to tell people I was here.

I’m feeling a little bad about what the guys said aobut me being “naughty.” I admit it was hard at times to progress with the programs with knowing how Muslims would be angered. But in a sense, I want them to be shaken out of their complacency and come to a knowledge of Christ. It still stings though.

Monday

I made it to deir Debwan. I took bus from Jerusalem to Ramallah and then a taxi from Ramallah to Deir Debwan. I got here and everyone was happy to see me. Himaydi was giving dad a bath

Dad smiled when he saw me. He is very weak. He slept almost all day. Lots of relatives friends came by:

Aziz

Ribhia

Genayin son

Mahfoutha son

Mahfoutha

Khateema and daughter

Another woman I don’t know and her daughter

Saleh Ayed

Amo Isa

Others

I went to Ribhia’s afterward to have Qatayef

It is Ramadan and everything is about Ramadan here now. TV, everything. Its the same game they play around Christmastime in the west on TV

It’s all about money

Najat asked me, “How do you see him?”

I wasn’t sure if it was a snide remark. I said, “I see him as he is.”

I slept well and awoke around 8. Dad wanted to go to the bathroom, I took him. He’s back in bed now

Lord Jesus. It seems like we live so much of our lives for ourselves and then a big part of our lives is dedicated to help the aged and dying. I know You said, “Let the dead bury their dead.” How does that apply here?

When I was in the hotel in Jerusalem, the Lord brought to mind a song from Graham Kendrick and it reawakened in me my love for Hosanna Integrity. I’ve even started loving old “Jehovah Nissi” and “O Come let us Sing for Joy to the Lord.”

June 28

Dad has started walking a little with the cane. I don’t know how much that means towards his independence as a walker. He seems very dependent still. I feel bad. I lost my temper with him because he took off his catheter and drove Yusra crazy. He was wrestling with her as she was trying to change the catheter - the second time tonight. I feel like she is looking for a way out of this insanity. For some reason, I empathize with her a little.

I am not out of control. I have peace in the midst of this story. I went to church Sunday and saw Shukri and his family. It was wonderful to see everyone. I almost feel like I’m where I’m supposed to have been when I fled 3 years ago.

Last night Dad started asking for Amo Isa. (first time) I went and got him as he was coming home from prayers at the mosque. He was very nice to me -- quite unusual for him. Khadeja came by yesterday and dad cried. He loves al Abed and Khadeja so much.

I’ve been getting kind of close to Abdel Aziz too. He comes by almost every day. We had dinner at Najat’s house last night.

I’ve been going through the strain of the family here trying to pressure me to stay longer than the three months. When Khadeja was here she asked me if I would. I said, in front of Yusara - Nasri could come and Najwa to to help. Yusara of course said that Nasri has his family and can’t.  She won’t let him.

This is a point of contention between us I try to avoid. Maybe God wants me here now. I’m a lot holier here than I am in America.

Rick wrote to me yesterday and asked how I was. I told him to tell Mom to send me messages on Facebook. I really want her to just to keep that connection.

I’m kind of mad that I had to ask. She should have just done it, I feel.

But Rick’s message is nice.  

At Chruch Sunday, I felt a little like a celebrity. Everyone knew me. Michael welcomed me from the pulpit and his wife said they were really excited that I was back. She was happy that I might be here a year.

There will be boxes in this journal about things I learn as I take care of dad

I feel bad when I see dad sitting just staring or with his head on his hand. I always want to keep him entertained or happy. But maybe I don’t need to. Maybe he’s OK. I’m not sure.

Also Yusara is suffering. I realized that I have to take care of her a little too. She is easy to take advantage of because she is so giving and undemanding but I think she is tired. She needs appreciation and gentleness too.

A Poem

28 purple petals from a purple rose

Along the concrete ledge lined up in perfect little rows

Fell from thorny branch like a rickety old crick

Bouncing up and down as if to hit you with a stick

Whack upside the head, reality is like a shower

The hurricane that laughs as it pounces with its power

And count the little petals and remember all the pasts

But know its just illusions upon which our eyes are cast

I picked a petal just to smell the fragrance of the rose

A distant long ago as it barely touched my nose

But something of it lingered maybe just to say

No one ever noticed till upon this ledge I lay

The wind it came so cruelly and it ripped me from my place

And brought me down to where my color is my only grace

I’ll shine for you my purple like an sparkling amythyst

To the gray old concrete I’ll bring a moment of pure bliss

Daddy was a sailor as he sailed on the sea

He learned to scan the sky and feel the waters underneath

The heights were never so high that he’d feel  taken

The lows never so low though he felt himself forsaken

It must be how his mamma gave him bread to give away

To farmers with fresh vegetables

They’d give as if to pay

It worked every time and that’s how daddy learned his trade

You’ll not lose what you own because of what you give away

Daddy was a singer though he never played guitar

His words were like poetry from near and from afar

Many came to rest beneath the shadow that he cast

Kindness like a river, no shame in what has passed

The healing touch he had he earned with wounds

He gladly gave away

And those who knew him, knew him well

When all would leave, he’d stay

But now the wind and waves have torn the ship away

The sailor he now stranded on the bed pon which he lay

His songs have fallen silent with a stroke that took his words

But still his song sings in me among the best I ever heard

28 purple petals from a purple rose

Along the concrete ledge lined up in perfect little rows

Fell from thorny branch like a rickety old crick

Bouncing up and down as if to hit you with a stick

I picked a petal just to smell the fragrance of the rose

A distant long ago as it barely touched my nose

But something of it lingered maybe just to say

No one ever noticed till upon this ledge I lay

I played this video for Dad today: He watched 35 minutes of it. Then I asked him who it was. He said, It was Najwa Fouad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzsM0sjkOsE

Abed came by today. He is 70 days older than dad. He didn’t know who I was. He looked strong though.

June 29

Today Dad watched two episodes of Sanford and Son. I shared the gospel with Dad the other day and when I said in Arabic Jesus died for our sins in Arabic, I asked him what is “khataya” he said, “sin.”

I said Jesus died for our sin and I made him pray with me to ask Jesus in his heart

Amo Issa has been really nice to me.

We tried to have dad sleep without the hose but he wet the bed so bad and Yusara got mad. I suggested it because of the amount of confrontation between dad and Yusara over it. I don’t know if it’s so but I may be beginning to see her for who she is. She has suffered so much from dad. I maybe took advantage of her too. I am trying to be nicer.

I walked around Deir Debwan tonight all the way up to the pharmacy by the school and down past Rashid’s house and up teh sahel street and to Akel’s store.

June 30

Got abou 500 dollars from denari. Amo Isa took me to the old house and showed it to me. Then the doctor didn’t come today so I walked dad and Amo Isa came and took us around in his car. I wanted to go to church but it was too late

I shared the Gospel plainly with Dad today and told him he must accept Jesus into his heart. He prayed with me and when I asked him if Jesus was in his heart now, he gave me that “I don’t know,” gesture.

This is fourth time

I wrote to Pastor Ray about my concern about “let the dead bury their dead”

This is my question and his response:

Hi Pastor Ray: How are you? I am fine. I am in Israel with my father. He is very old and weak. He had a stroke three years ago and fell a few months ago and broke his hip. He is undergoing therapy to walk. He can't do anything by himself hardly. I came planning to be here three or four months but my family keep pressuring me to stay longer - up to a year. I'm am conflicted about Jesus saying - Let the dead bury their dead - How do you interpret this?

I think you have the proven heart to serve the LORD under any circumstances so I do not think there is a challenge to you for that.   If I were you I would probably consider staying but put it before the LORD to guide you.   There are times we have to continue on with our life and ministry and times to stay.   I had to put my mother in a home due to dementia and move back to Reno.   That was hard.   So I will pray for the LORD’S guidance for you.   I regret not being there for my mother even though I visited her more than any of my siblings…these are not easy decisions.   Bless you my friend and brother.

Ihmaydi sent some money, Najat told me

Am not really bummed. With Internet and worhsip music I can pretty much endure. But I feel like maybe I should be better than this. In Deir Dibwan all my old friends have huge enomrous houses and grandkids.

The Jiggy Jaguar interview was on the cover of the AlFadyTV website -- hillarious. But Abouna did a good job on the interview.

July 1?

Not a good morning so far. After I bathed dad and everything, he dirtied his daiper. I had to  clean him all over again. I was meaner than I should have been. I asked him, “Are you going to shit again?” He looked at me with this desperate look, knowing that I was frustrated almost crying he said, “NO.”

Father forgive me in the Name of Jesus

I got through these inner struggles about Nassri and Najwa not helping. But Ihamydi did enough for all of them and I haven’t been here for three years. I wonder if the reason my show isn’t successful is because I left my responsibility here.

I got a phone little one 150 shekels. So small and doesn’t have much memory

WE watched an episode of Sanford and Son -- he laughed a few times

I put on an old Bob Hope show and he laughed several times

Today is the Eid --

lots of people have come by and I went and visited Dhahabieyeh and her family. I asked her husband if they had pictures of his father when he was young -- Mazen. I told them how much I loved him. He was a unique young man who was so kind though he had nothing to gain from me. He also helped me when I bought a bike for Nassri in 1989.

Tomorrow I get preach at church. I will preach about the gates of Jerusalem in Nehimiah's time:

Sheep Gate

Fish Gate

Old Gate

Valley Gate

Dung Gate

Fountain Gate

Water Gate

Horse Gate

Eastern Gate

Inspection

The other day one of my dad's guests asked if I was fasting for Ramadan. I said no. I said I fast but I'm not fasting now.

Yusara confronted me last night told me I was a laughingstock for not being married, owning house, not having money.

I told her, "I left everything, my home, my job to come help you and you talk about me like this?"

I went with Najat to Dhahabiyeh's house.

My computer broke and I had to spend $100 at Atta's son's store to get it fixed including a better harddrive.

One thing I am not sure I wrote about was about the Isaiah 42 promises God gave me when I was on the planed before landing in Tel Aviv:

I said, ‘You are my servant’;
    I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

11 “All who rage against you
    will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
    will be as nothing and perish.
12 Though you search for your enemies,
    you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
    will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.
14 Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
    little Israel, do not fear,

I shared this with the guy who sat next to me on the plane and he said: "I'm glad God told you that,"

Yusara spoke to me about the money that is spent 

l