looks

As I was walking to buy chicken today, three young guys were walking towards me they looked at me and one of them started talking passionately with the other two - I didn't greet them nor did they greet me.

Then all the old me sitting in front of the cafe were there waiting to go pray. As I passed by they all looked at me, as usual. I waved and a few waved back.

I was an asshole today to Yusara again.

I am angry about her not letting Nasri or Najwa come replace me.

I feel kind of schizo-- on the one hand, I am fine. I am OK to be here with Dad. I enjoy being with him and it gives me a sense of purpose to help him. I really enjoy going to Ramallah and to church and to minister there.

But I get angry really easy when I think if Yusara telling her kids not to stay here but it doesn't matter to her that I leave all my life back there and be here. Also I am having to pay for everything. Meat, food, doctor, medicine, power bill, water bill.

But shouldn't a son do these things? Ihmaydi automatically did. I looked stupid and cheap for complaining.