last day

I’m on my way back to America. I’m sitting in a pretty disgusting place on the ground floor of the Jerusalem Central Bus station. My plane is at 430 a.m. and I want to leave here at Midnight. It is 3 p.m. now. I have eight hours.

Been a semi  fun day. I walked from the Metropole Hotel, which I noticed had Christian symbols on the door – and a verse of scripture from Song of Solomon: The winter is over and passed and gone…”

I went to the Jewish part on Jaffa Street. I read the portion of scripture where Jesus said: “Go the lost sheep of the house of Israel. “

I  sat and had coffee at a place owned by a Turkish Jewish guy. I asked him: What do you think of Messiah? He didn’t know what that was: I said the Hebrew “Maschiech” and he said he is not religious and doesn’t know about that.

I told him I believe Jesus is the Messiah. He didn’t put up much of a fight but he said he understood Turkish so I said, “Sharku Soylamek Istiyarum.” He smiled. I also told him how I was Muslim and Jesus came to me and changed my life.

There was another guy I asked if he spoke English. He said a little. I asked him What he thought of Messiah. He said “He is come soon.”

I asked “Who is he or what do you know about Him.”

Then I asked if it might be Jesus. He said No because Jesus turned against Judaism and he started telling me about the vanity of Jewish women shaving their heads and wearing wigs.

I tried to tell him about prophecies in Isaiah and Jeremiah. He didn’t understand but he did understand when I said: “He was wounded for our transgressions and punished for our sins.” He said, “I don’t believe that. I said “It’s in your nevim (prophets).” I said Isaiah and Jeremiah and Micah but he didn’t understand.

Then I walked across the street to the Torch Bookshop which it turns out is an Assembly of God bookshop. I talked with the worker there, David for a while. As I talked to him a guy named Bryan came in who knew me from Shevit Achim. We talked a while. He remembered Philip Burg and mentioned Jonathan Miles who I’ve been thinking of recently.

Then I walked over to the Bible Society and met two Messianic believers: Eliazer and I can’t remember the second. We talked a while about Paul’s idea to send the Hebrew Arabic Bibles to the Saudi princes. He said it was a good idea because many converts want to know the original language that Jesus spoke. They said they could not mail the Bibles to Saudi from Israel but that they might be able to from America.

Then they gave me a book called “Rami and Ami” which are about two martyrs for Christ. One killed by Muslims and one injured in a bombing by Jews.

I just read a portion of the one about Ami. It mentions David Ortiz who I remember from Isa Bajalia days.

4 days or 5

am sitting alone at church pretty low energy.

10 Days

Turns out I am going to be here until the 31st not the 29th. Either way its about 10 days until I leave.

I get this paranoia that they are going to play another trick on me to force me to stay here.

I have had some bad encounters with Yusra. I get so angry that she turns Quran on all day long. The other day, I semi exploded, not really.

Today I blew up at Sarah. As usual she came in and started telling me what to do. Take off his shoes. Why is he red? What did you do to him?
I got mad and stormed out and walked around the block -- the long way. Came back and we took off from where we started as if nothing happened.

At 1 a.m. last night Najat called me to go with her to the hospital with Tawfiq's uncle Saleh. I almost got stuck trying to get out in that tight alley. But I got out and we went to hospital.

He has to get a heart stint. He is in ICU for second day.

Its the 22nd today. Tomorrow will take N and kids to trip.

SArah is here right now sitting with Yusra talking. Dad is napping. Quran channel playing in the background.

Cinderella problems

Had blow up with step mom and took off in the midst of pretty distressing times. It was the day after the embassy opening in Jerusalem and the 60 people killed in Gaza. There were riots everywhere. The DCO was closed.
As soon as I left, Rahifa called. I didn't answer at first.
She called back later and she asked if I was leaving that day the 15th. I said no on the 29th.

I went the next day to Jerusalem and was refreshed when I sat in the Church of the Holy Seprluchre reading Psalm 22.

Came back to Ramallah -- first day of Ramadan now.

I called stepmom and apologized for bad words. She said I was just spoiled. Whatever

Came back and prepared message on Pslam 22 which I will share tonight.

poetry

Can't read or write in English or in any other way

But I could speak in seven languages like I was they

I'd sing and laugh they'd come around it was like child's play

Until the storm of 0 13 took it all away

I can't talk, well yes I can, I know what I am saying

But everyone around acts like I am just playing

incredulously they look at one another when I try to talk

And give me an "it's OK look"ng  not tryiTng to understand

Oh Adam did you know what your children would endure

The day you looked away long enough to fall away

Weird (and Wonderful) couple of days.

On Tuesday I went and preached in Ramleh with M. It was good about Azazeel (the Day of Atonement scapegoat).
One guy told me afterwards that it answered questions he's had for three years.

I slept in Ramallah. When I came home Y. seemed on a warpath. She locked front door and opened only the back door. I freaked not sure what was happening. She also added to the pile of tree branches outside our house (I think to irritate Amo. I). I offered to cut the trees and Amo I. even came down with branch cutters to help but she wouldn't have it.

I called M and told him my concerns. Then I called P.J. in Bait Lham. He told me I could come if I needed help. He told me, "You've been shot at..." That made me feel good that someone remembered that.

I went to Najat's house and she told me that her mom did the same to her before and that I shouldn't take it so seriously...

I was planning to preach Thursday about healing...
I fasted Wed. I'm not sure but I think it broke some spiritual power over Y.  (Matt 17:21). The nextsaid  to me "YOu are of hte children of Musa (Moses the prophet)"
I told her if she beleived Islam we'd be more considered the children of Isa (Jesus)

She then said that Moses, Isa and Mohammed are the messengers of Allah, blah, blah blah

Then I asked her, "How could a prophet of God marry a six year old girl?"
She said it was to protect her?
I asked how old he was when he married her? She said "Nine"

I said he was 51. and he had sex with her when she was nine and he was 54

I said how could a prophet of God do that? I said you wouldn't allow your grandaughter to marry a 54 years old man.

Then I told her about Zaynab his daughter in law -- wife

Then I asked aobut 4:34 about beating women.

She said it's only for unfaithful wives. I said "I'll read it to you. YOu don't read I do."

She couldn't answer anything

I feel it was a major crack in the venear of Islam around her.

I kind of feel I heard the Lord tell me, "I could use someone like Y."

She has fierce devotion.


Also, I needed money. I gave to church in Ramleh 20 shekels and said Lord I give this because I need a miracle.

Then I got 200 shekels for preachingat c
I then got 1,000 dollars from D. Brooks on CT3n
Then I got another 150 or so dollars.

I shared at church how I got mad at God and complained and cried but that complaints and tears don't move the hand of God. But faith does.

It was really well received. I preached about healing and then offered to pray for anyone who needed healing. Both M and J were there.

Almsot everyone came up for prayer. One Girl fell under the power. Three told me they were healed.
One (ex Muslim) who had problems with her legs said she was feeling power moving through her legs.

Awesome. Best meeting I've ever done in terms of power of the Holy Spirit moving



Shop owner son also asked me to pray for him knowing I'm Christian. He said he was suffering physically and psychologically.


On my way home saw AbdelAziz. HE said he was mad at me. I jokingly said, "Is it about bamieh?" He joked saying yes. But there is something I'm not sure what. Maybe he has heard about me now. I don't know.

music chip

As usually when I come here I have special music list I listeown n to.  This time around I am really listening alot to Petra, Second Chapter of Acts; November Rain, Stairway to Heaven; Lamb; a few of my own songs Shepherd of Love and Did you mean what you said.


When I take dad to the mosque I drop him off, walk down the hill and up to the coffee stand or to Amir's Bakery listening to the music. The music helps me to walk up the steep incline of the hill to the dawar.

Yusara on a bit of a trip. She  thinks that listeing to the shiekh on TV caused the metal plate on the bottom of the washer to come off. I saw it was off yesterday Iand  I told her so, but she's covinced that it was some demonic thing.

She's being meaner to dad than usual today.

In Jerusalem

Went to Jerusalem today to preach at Alliance. It was fun. I almost didn't make it because of delay at Kalendia. I made it but was late.

I preached about Abraham and Lot. It was well received.

It was so hard to get there but I'm so glad I made it. I was late but in time to preach. Shukri was the worship leader. It was good.

Sherene who always sings "We had joy we had fun.." thanked me and she interpreted it to English and said she was really blessed while translating it.

British members of the Garden Tomb thanked me for the message as well

There was another woman who is from the Missionary Alliance group.


I came home afterwards with Motessum and it was great to see him inspite of his issues. He rode with me to Ramallah from Jerusalem. I was scared of coming with him afraid that he is radically  returned to his old faith. I don't know. But he didn't give me indications that he had. He has a disabled son and two daughters in college and a son who is a carpenter

the guy who knew me at the coffee stand

today as I was buying coffee at the stand -- on my way back to the mosque to pick up Dad -- the guy who originally saw me and said he knew me from the internet saw me waiting outside the crowd by the coffee hut. He signaled with his arm and words for me to come to the front of the line saying "Arab's first."
Then I joked with the guy inside saying: "Half a cup with one spoon of sugar and two spoons of cream." Then I told the guy (who signaled to me) "I'm teaching them English here."

One guy took off in a huff  saying some stuff, I'm not sure what.

Then this guy said "The Arabs are the worst people in the world."
I said, "I'm one of you."

He then, in front of everyone asked me: "Are you a Christian?"
I said. "Yes."
He didn't seem to know how to respond. I just said. "I love you." He said (I think) "I love you too."

Jericho Road

Went to JEricho with the gang for Anoos' birthday. Had nice time. Met with the widow and family of Hussein Jaber's brother. Got along with them good. 

Najat drove to and fro. 

Anoos is 14 years old. this is already on Facebook

putting Dad to bed

He put himself to bed today. I went to Najat's house to give Haha driving lessons from here to sheikh ammar and behind their house. She did well. then Najat said to take dad out which I did. We went to Ramallah. On the way there

Son of the sheikh

was in church today. afterward went home. Went to Najat's house to take her car and some pizza she made for us. Then after Dad ate, I took him to the mosque. He said he didn't want to go to the mosque and said he wanted to go see Najat instead.

When we go to Najat's he asked where Sarah was. lol

Then Najat and Anoos noticed dad's eyes were red. We took him to a doctor and he examined him. Said we have to clean out his eyes with baby shampo  and this medicine. thee times a day. I went to buy the medicine and the shampoo later.

Akel said he likes what I did but wants my help to update it everyday.

As I  was walking down a back road I rarely take to the pharmacy, a kid and his sister walked next to me. They stuck by me a while. The boy then said, hi and asked me if I knew his father. I said no. He told me his name. He said he is the imam of the mosque. He named "Kutayb" and his sister Nour. He said that he knows my dad and  that he knows about me. He said "You're a Christian aren't you?" I said "Yes." 

Then as we parted ways I said, "It's good to meet you say hello to your father."

A few days later in front of mosque he came up to me again and asked if I remembered him. He said he is the son of the sheikh. He asked for money. I offered him five shekels. He said, "Are you sure?"
Weird. Not sure what to think.

Rainy Day Ramallah/ Deir Debwan

awesome rain day today.
Went to Ramallah to preach. The rain was so strong I had to hide in stores in Ramallah as I walked.
One guy, a watermelon seller (who sold watermellons out of his shopping cart) asked me to tie plastic blue bags to his hands like gloves. I did. Then we laughed and talked about the flood rains and he went off with his watermelon shopping cart.

He said he was from Ramallah.

great service. I preached about Abraham and Lot and few people were there but among those there were the two ex Muslims. Got great reactions from Fariss.

Dads Identification

I have several IDs of my dad.
Whenever we leave he grabs this little blue folder that has a bunch of his old drivers licenses and expired IDs.
He wants to have ID like when it mattered but he doesn't need it anymore. He can pretty much go anywhere he wants in Israel because of his age.

But he still wants to have it to feel like it matters, I guess.

---------
Went to church last night and it was a bit of a war. Yusra went to see Khatam and got back right at 6 and I told her I had to leave at 6 to get to work. I got to church on time. It was great. I preached about the cross and identity. Was really well received.

Had a good time.

not sure if i posted this

I made it to Deir Debwan today.

I woke up early and ate breakfast and then attempted to go back to sleep. I didn’t.

Then on the bus to Ramallah, I met this German kid who seemed real eager to talk to me. We talked. Turned out he is a tourist with friends in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv who wanted to visit Arab cities. He hand been to Bethlahem the day before and was going to Ramallah today.

I was scared to talk to him in English in the bus. I didn’t want to be noticed.

But then I spoke to him as I was concerned for his own safety

He met some other germans on the bus and made plans to meet with them later. I took him with me to meet Saleh and family. I saw Saleh’s wife first and his son. Then we were taken into the underground wine cellar he’s making which is made from a Roman cistern that was on his property. Amazing.

Then I finally came home. Dad was inside the kitchen looking at food on the table. Yusra was outside washing the mustaba.

Dad looked really good. He walks very slow. Tiny tiny steps. I can barely make out some of the things he says.

 He’s driving Yusra crazy.

She’s still here. I gotta say I have no small amount of admiration for her. A few years back in 2013, when I came here. She and my sisters concocted a plan. The Holy Spirit alerted me to it before I even got here.

It was kind of strange – I was supposed to start my program on Al fady TV station. Father Zakaria had specifically pointed me out and said that I had waited a long time and needed to be the first to have his own show.

Just then my dad had a stroke (a few months earlier Rick had a stroke) and I had to come care for him.

I was only going to stay for the weekened because my show started that Monday. But I made a decision to stay here three months – violating my weeklong visa as Israel had allowed me.

One night – Najat and Yusraa called me into the living room in attempt to carry out the dastardly plan to take Yusara and leave me here with dad. Najat was like an icicle and Najwa had warned me before she left – Wait till you see what we have planned, so I knew from the Holy Spirit and from Najwa about this plan.

As they attempted to carry it out, Yusara said to me “There is no leaving for you. Whoever wants to take his father can take him.”

I said, “But I thought Ihmaydi was coming,”

She said, “I don’t know I’m going to pilgrimage.”

When I knew what was happening. Najat, I think said to Yusara, “Lets go.”

In anger I said, “And let her not return.”

Dad tapped me on the leg as if to stop me.

It was a cold night. Somehow I walked out and called Michael to tell him. On my way back I

Saw Amo Issa who was sitting with Samir Akel and asked him to come over and I went back to see Dad,etc.

Najat was starting to take Yusara away. Dad was pleading (he knew what he was doing) that she take the car keys. Najat kept saying, “We’re just going for a walk Yabba.”

But he kept trying to give them the car keys as if they needed it.

What happened is, as they reached the gate, that Yusara looked back at him and kissed him. As if she couldn’t leave him.

And she came back.

Her daughters, and maybe her, had concocted this plan against me but Yusara couldn’t carry it out.

She started making excuses as to how I misunderstood what she meant because I don’t speak good Arabic and whatever. I played along.

Then I sat in the patio to surf the net a little when Najwa wrote me: “I know what you did. Leave immediately or you don’t know….”

I was sure that meant she was going to send evil friends against me.

I called Sultan and went to Ramallah terrified.

The next day I was taken to Jordan by Michael. Was picked up at the Jordan border by Victor Hashwa who took me to their home. I hung out a few days and then came back to the U.S.

This may not have been as terrifying as it seemed looking back. Being known for my Christian conversion and televangelism I felt I had a huge target on my back. I was paranoid almost.

All these events fell into that narrative in my mind. They may not have been all that though there were small indications from Najwa that she could unleash an attack against me. I remember the words

“Leave immediately or you don’t know what will happen to you,”

And “…you know what I mean.” (referring to my Christianity.

Najwa had told me that people were talking about me around town. The fact that I was not just a Christian but that I was preaching against Islam on TV.

I’m back in Deir Debwan now.

What’s funny is that I am here just as I finished my 100^th episode of my program Message of Grace.

I guess I could say a few words about my program: It started out slow, in terms of calls and audience participation and then never really got the calls I thought it would

At the lowest point I can remember Peter (who  says what I think everyone thinks) said: Your boring show and No one watches this show and so on.

These words hurt a lot mainly because I believed he was right.

But in spite of this, they always wanted me to continue the show. At first it was every other week on Monday and many, many Mondays it was cancelled because of holidays that fall on Monday – Presidents Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and so on and so on. So much so that since 2013 when the show started (after I went back after being with my Dad) I, in 2018, have only 100 shows. Azad has more than twice that many. Jaffar almost three times. I’m not sure of YOhanna.

But they didn’t want to cancel the show. I was really discouraged the other day when I got no calls after a program and went and talked to the manager Riddha. I told him my concerns and said “Maybe we should cancel the program as people aren’t calling,” etc.

He was adamant that we shouldn’t. He was completely convinced of the shows importance in delivering Father Zakaria’s message in English to the Western World.

I gleefully agreed. Then another thing happened “Jacob.” Benyamin’s son got saved.

He started coming on the show with me and sharing his testimony. It became (at least on Youtube and Vimeo) some of my most popular shows.

In fact Jacob hosted me on our 100^th show.

His excitement for the Lord is wonderful as he started coming to church with me at Cottonwood and going to home group meetings where they focus on the gifts of the Spirit. He is soaring there.

So I now feel the show is in a good place. We get some original calls – from England, Europe and some in the U.S.

I must admit I wish there were more calls from Muslims. That hasn’t happened in a big way. Yet.

I feel good about the show though.

Immediately after the 100^th show I came here to see Dad again as  I was implored to do. Himaydi came and spent three months here and he left. He has been faithful and for his sake I feel I owe the family to help.

When I came yesterday it was kind of cute.

Yusara was outside spraying the front of the gate as she always is. She was positive in receiving me (I was worried she would be angry at me).

She said my dad had just been trying to go out the gate but she sent him back to the kitchen. I went to the kitchen and he was hovering around the kitchen table looking at the different foods on it. I went up and said “Hi dad.”

He said, “Heh.”

HE then came and sat with me in baranda. He looked really good but was walking very, very slow.

He started talking to me as if I understood.

At one point he said something that sounded like he was counting his children: “and the three Husein and Fatima and…” and I said ‘I am Husein.”

Then he said that he wanted to go to Najat’s house. I asked if he could. Yusra said yes.

I walked with him, holding his hand like he used to hold my hand when I was a boy.

When we reached the supermarket near Hachooret Awdah that square building that no one will tear down and serves as a traffic control device – the mayor of Deir Debwan came out of the supermarket. HE shook hands with dad and said, “See you haven’t been forgotten.”

He then said to me that he like my guitar playing on facebook and said that I might be able to do something for the village.

But he said: “Don’t do anything Christian. Do nationalist.”

Although there is a negative aspect to what he said, there was the good aspect that everyone knows that I’m a Christian who plays Christian music.

There is also the fact that he was so lighthearted about it. He actually invited us to go see him in the belediya.

Funny.

It made me think the opposition to my Christianity isn’t as strong as I thought here.

Then we went and saw Najat and had lunch. I saw Anoos and Amira and Nehaya

Hanien is in America with her sisters

I slept last night really good. From about 10 p.m. to about 6 a.m.

I’m writing this now.

We don’t have internet here yet. I have to call them today to find out why

Yusara opened up to me a little yesterday night talking about the way my dad is driving her crazy. How she has to pick him up and has no strength in her body to keep holding him.

I want to go to church today. Najat is going to Ramallah, I asked if I could tag along so I could go to church but dad an Yusra are still sleeping. I have to help get him bathed etc. before I go.

There is one other strange thing that happened before I came here. I got an apartment in Irvine with Shadi. I am only able to be gone for three months because of it as my visa is also for three months.

Najat joked about this yesterday telling dad she wished I was only going to be here one month.

I have plans to pay rent for two months that I am here. It has been a bumpy ride at the new apartment. I’ve argued briefly with his mother when she came to Shadi’s defense. But things were smoothed out.

Shadi himself apologized to me for the problems. HE also let me park my car in our only allowed parking slot while I’m gone.

We went and saw Khitam and her husband yesterday at their farm. It was kind of fun. I could see some of the archaelogicial historical structures on the hill near their property. Impressive if real.

I am going to Ramallah with Najat. I took a shower in the miniscule stream of water that flowed out.

CAn

water bottles

Yusara asked me to get some water as I was taking my dad out to the mosque. I went as usual and got coffee and then bought the water at teh store across the street. Then I took dad's hand and carried the water in the other hand. As I did it was heavy and i had to take a break. Then the bottle strap broke and IMad from Soltan saw and offered to give us a ride home. I said no.

Preached at youth group

I preacehed at church tonight to the youth (second time)
I was going to do my Abraham sermon but because of the attack in Syria yesterday by U.S., Brthitain, France, I decided to do a prophecy wrap up.

IT was well received with lots of good questions by the kids.

afterwards I slept at church. It was Saturday night so I will attend Church this morning.

I will go preach in Ramleh Tuesday night with Pastor Monir

I think I will do Abraham message

then I will preach in Ramallah on Thursday the 27th and the following Thursday the 3rd.

Nidal told me I "kharbish" when I preach in Arabic. I should do English with translator

I also filed my taxes by Turbo Tax. I talked to Milton who told me about filing my ministry expenses on Schedule C. When I originally filed, I owed 3,500 dollars. But after Schedule C I only owed federal governemtn 300 dollars and I am getting a 280 rebate from California

Petra rocks

Each time I've come here I've had a particular song or set of songs that I listen to. Last time it was November rain. This time it's Petra - Mostly from the Beat the System and some More Power to You. I've also started listening to the Hosanna Integrity albums again.

Meet with the Mayor/Reem's Brother

Met with

mayor of Deir Debwan Dr. Mansour Mansour. It was nice. He's on second floor of Beledieh. He was real nice and we took a picture. He invited me back. I gave him an idea for a wireless internet place in Deir Debwan. He seemed to like the idea. I told him to call it Mashni Corner.

I was feeling kind of high after the meeting and walked up to Amir's to get coffee. On my way back, it started raining and I couldn't walk home. I thought it would be better to ride to Ramallah instead of going home immediately.

I did and as I rode to Ramallah, I thought I'd go to Jerusalem and do a Holy Sepluchre visit. But on my way there I saw a Facebook post about Reem's brother who had died. He was young only like 43. I went and saw Bassem and Ahmed in the glasses shop and they told me of the funeral. I then went and saw Zack and he too told me about the funeral that would be after the late afternoon prayers.

I went to the Church of the Holy Sepluchre and sat there and read the Bible for about an hour

Then I went back and found Zack's shop closed so I went to Bassem's shop and went with him and Ahmed and another guy to the funeral. We went to the wrong burial place then we went to the right one which was at the Al Asbat Gate (Stephen's Gate). Reem was standing by the grave. I went and hugged her. I told her that with all the seeds she planted that he may have unbeknownst to us come to the Lord at the last moment. She said that is what matters more to her than anything. I went trough the line and shook hands with all the relatives. It was a divine set up.

Rio Grande de Sol

As I was coming back from Ramallah after sleeping in and missing Church, I was sitting in back of bus and two women and a man came in and sat in front and next to me. I noticed they were not talking Arabic. As they talked I asked the man in Arabic what language it was. Turns out Portuguese. He was Pastor Carlos and his wife and another woman who is married to a man from Deir Debwan and lives in Deir Debwan. I told them I wouldtake the mto Bethleham. They are staying with her relative Nasser Shehata who called me and we talked. They ended up not coming with me to Bethleham. Dad is driving everyone crazy. He takes off the hose and the daipers at night. I confronted him an slept on the floor in the living room at night. Yusra came and woke me to sleep in the bed.

Easter (Orthodox)

Great day I started out going to lunch with Yusra and Dad and Najat and kids. Had fun. Rahifa came. Yusra paid as she said she invited us. I insisted to pay but they wouldn't let me. Then I went to Jerusalem for the Garden Tomb meeting. Lots of folks I knew were there. Much of it I was antcipating was going to be painful but it turned out great. I saw Fadi (see pciture on facebook) and Nizar Nafeh (who ended up taking me to a nice I I dinner) I saw Maysoun who came up to me and shook my hand. I saw and talked with Dena. She is going to a Korean church in Ramallah I saw Pastor Jack who hugged me and told me he wanted me to meet 2 mbbs in Bethlehem His wife Madelain told me that one of them had a vision of Jesus in teh mosque and accepted the Lord They told me that they knew me and wanted to meet me. Had great time with Fadi and Sandrene. Saw Yung Khouri's son and his wife and sister. Was really great to see everyone.

soul battle

went Thursday with Nasser and Diana and their kids to Tel Aviv where we picked strawberries and carrots. Then we went to Nazareth Village where we saw the play about the death and resurrection of Jesus. At the place there I saw John who told

Easter Sunday

At least in America. But in the Middle East it's Palm Sunday.
Went to church saw Rami,

Had a struggle with dad this morning he kept trying to take off the hose and the daiper and I wouldn't let him. I would hold his hands to keep him from taking them off.
I was concerned that I was too rough but I feel it was needed

He gave in about an hour later and went back to bed


I went to church. It was good --

called Rami. I saw his daughter who is very cute

Came back took dad to mosque -- late afternoon
The two guys from the other day came by and sat with me.
They told me their project failed. turns out they're just 13, 15 13 years old. At the end one of them stood up and said: none they guys are muslims they're all unbelievers. and then he said, "I'm a Christian." and crossed himself as he walked away.

As I walked out with Dad a man, (I think it's sheikh jamal (fed ex) he patted my chest and said "I swear there is something good about you."
s

I'm not sure what that meant or why he said it.

then I went and saw FAyiq's museum with Anoos.

came home and watched Sanford and Son with dad.

Today is actually Easter Eve -- my 40th Birthday spiritually

I am in Deir Debwan with dad feeling really bored. There's a little flicker inside t

hat I feel. The Holy Ghost that was poured on me the night before Easter 1978.

Father in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
Thy Kingdom Come
Thy Will be done
On Earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us
Lead us not in to temptation
But deliver us from evil
For Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory forever.
Amen.

Mountain Top vid

November Rain to whitther

A feature of my last trip here was my oft played song November Rain. This was mostly because of a great reaction from the audience at Fox's coffee house in Long Beach to my rendition of November Rain with the backing track.
I watched it over and over again and then downloaded the original version onto the tiny phone I bought for I  think 50 shekels in Deir Debwan. Along with Freebird this became the anthem of my last trip.

This time I've kind of done a full circle to my first trip to this house -- it was in 1989 when I graduated from college and came to see the kids who I didn't know.

At that time I used to listen to Petra's More Power to Ya all the time with Judas Kiss and Rose Colored Stained Glass Windows. This time around I am listening to those same songs. I managed to download for free several songs of More Power and Beat the System. I've been listening to them incessantly.

My usual practice is to give Dad a bath and dress him. Then we have breakfast. Then I take him to the mosque to pray. On the way I tell him to P2J. Over and over.

Then I leave and walk down Share'h al As'hal and up again to the Amir Bakery and get a cup of coffee and a water usually. It's four shekels for both. I sit on a fence and drink them and listen to Petra and one song by DC Talk -- Jesus Freak -- Stairway to Heaven and November Rain and Freebird are still in the catalog of the small chip that I bought at the DD Jawal store.

Dad looked good today with his sharp jacket and Ray Ban glasses.

One thing that I don't think I've written about is Dad picking up specks of dust and dirt off the carpet. He always does it. HE could be sitting down on the chair and sees a little piece of paper on the floor he will look at it, point at it, reach for it and then take it to the garbage. He'll go all the way to the kitchen to give it to Yusara. He's been doing this for years.

It breaks my heart because it shows he's looking for something to do. He's bored.

He just sits and does nothing all day. He wants to do something

Been thinking of Rahab this morning;
She was concerned for her family and saved them all. This is what he Bible says:

22 Joshua said to the two men who had spied out the land, “Go into the prostitute’s house and bring her out and all who belong to her, in accordance with your oath to her.” 23 So the young men who had done the spying went in and brought out Rahab, her father and mother, her brothers and sisters and all who belonged to her. They brought out her entire family and put them in a place outside the camp of Israel.

24 Then they burned the whole city and everything in it, but they put the silver and gold and the articles of bronze and iron into the treasury of the Lord’s house. 25 But Joshua spared Rahab the prostitute, with her family and all who belonged to her, because she hid the men Joshua had sent as spies to Jericho—and she lives among the Israelites to this day

There was mercy for this prostitute. 

She said:  When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.

Jericho Road

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0C6NtVwjLM

Went to Jericho with Dad and Yusra, Najat, Anoos, Haha and Amora. Took Dad to mosque he prayed and I took him home.
On the way to JEricho I told Najat the story of the Good Samaritan which happened on that road

one thing I"m tense about is the possibility that they are getting ready to trick me again like they did in 2013.
yusra went for a long walk and was gone a long time. I was nervous she wasn't coming back. She did at the end.
Najat also bought me a new pair of shoes -- white pumas. not bad
better than what I had

when I get scared like that it makes me reevaluate my presence here. Why am I here?

Back in Deir Debwan

I made it to Deir Debwan today.

I woke up early and ate breakfast and then attempted to go back to sleep. I didn’t.

Then on the bus to Ramallah, I met this German kid who seemed real eager to talk to me. We talked. Turned out he is a tourist with friends in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv who wanted to visit Arab cities. He hand been to Bethlahem the day before and was going to Ramallah today.

I was scared to talk to him in English in the bus. I didn’t want to be noticed.

But then I spoke to him as I was concerned for his own safety

He met some other germans on the bus and made plans to meet with them later. I took him with me to meet Saleh and family. I saw Saleh’s wife first and his son. Then we were taken into the underground wine cellar he’s making which is made from a Roman cistern that was on his property. Amazing.

Then I finally came home. Dad was inside the kitchen looking at food on the table. Yusra was outside washing the mustaba.

Dad looked really good. He walks very slow. Tiny tiny steps. I can barely make out some of the things he says.

 He’s driving Yusra crazy.

She’s still here. I gotta say I have no small amount of admiration for her. A few years back in 2013, when I came here. She and my sisters concocted a plan. The Holy Spirit alerted me to it before I even got here.

It was kind of strange – I was supposed to start my program on Al fady TV station. Father Zakaria had specifically pointed me out and said that I had waited a long time and needed to be the first to have his own show.

Just then my dad had a stroke (a few months earlier Rick had a stroke) and I had to come care for him.

-------------------------

What’s funny is that I am here just as I finished my 100^th episode of my program Message of Grace.

I guess I could say a few words about my program: It started out slow, in terms of calls and audience participation and then never really got the calls I thought it would

At the lowest point I can remember Peter (who  says what I think everyone thinks) said: Your boring show and No one watches this show and so on.

These words hurt a lot mainly because I believed he was right.

But in spite of this, they always wanted me to continue the show. At first it was every other week on Monday and many, many Mondays it was cancelled because of holidays that fall on Monday – Presidents Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and so on and so on. So much so that since 2013 when the show started (after I went back after being with my Dad) I, in 2018, have only 100 shows. Azad has more than twice that many. Jaffar almost three times. I’m not sure of YOhanna.

But they didn’t want to cancel the show. I was really discouraged the other day when I got no calls after a program and went and talked to the manager Riddha. I told him my concerns and said “Maybe we should cancel the program as people aren’t calling,” etc.

He was adamant that we shouldn’t. He was completely convinced of the shows importance in delivering Father Zakaria’s message in English to the Western World.

I gleefully agreed. Then another thing happened “Jacob.” Benyamin’s son got saved.

He started coming on the show with me and sharing his testimony. It became (at least on Youtube and Vimeo) some of my most popular shows.

In fact Jacob hosted me on our 100^th show.

His excitement for the Lord is wonderful as he started coming to church with me at Cottonwood and going to home group meetings where they focus on the gifts of the Spirit. He is soaring there.

So I now feel the show is in a good place. We get some original calls – from England, Europe and some in the U.S.

I must admit I wish there were more calls from Muslims. That hasn’t happened in a big way. Yet.

I feel good about the show though.

Immediately after the 100^th show I came here to see Dad again as  I was implored to do. Himaydi came and spent three months here and he left. He has been faithful and for his sake I feel I owe the family to help.

Cold in Jerusalem

It’s cold in Jerusalem tonight

I’m sitting by the Herod’s Gate here writing

Spent the night at Metropole Hotel

Am going back now for a second.

Walked around the Old City and I saw

Friends of long, long time ago

There was Bassem there was Rima too

There was Frank and his brother, two

There was Maron as a wooden cross I sought

I didn’t find the right one, anointing oil I bought

I think tomorrow I will go to the village

I did my usual trek around the Holy grounds

Walked all over Ben Yahuda and Hillel street too

I’m getting kind of hungry I hope I’ll find a restaurant.

I used to love to be here

But now I find I must

The desire isn’t anything

Nothing like it was

But maybe its like marriage

It starts out alright

But then as hardships mount

The spouses sometimes fight

But after a long time

They find they struck it through

And then they sigh in relief

That they didn’t let go.

I also saw Lina on her way to church

And Jack, the red head he was nice

Remembered me it seemed.

Two muslims speaking Hebrew sat near me

As I’m sitting writing.

Must seem kind of strange to them

I must assume.

The walls and all the buildings are a sense of permanence

I move around so much but here things stay the same

The walls and shops and symbols

The lights and all the styles

Continue through the years

Longer than a while

In America

Things change like the wind

Here I come and find the same

Again and again.

Pangs of guilt knock lightly

Mother and my dad

One from each side of the world

Pulling on my heart

Each one has a claim

Yet heaven from above

Needs and calls with fervor

A call of higher love

How Lord have I failed

How Lord have I turned

How Lord have I failed to be

The things that should have been

Coulda, Shouda, Woulda

That’s what the people say

I wonder if the Lord

Sees it in that way.

It’s cold in Jerusalem

I’m sitting  by the gate

There were bands playing by the Jaffa Gate

Three, two were big with Arabs and with Jews

Playing melodies that made me think

Of Um Kolthoum

It’s cold in Jerusalem

Green Plaid and sweater too

Called a pullover I thinkTogether they seem warm.

The Muslim woman who is with the man and speaking Hebrew

Is smoking with a grace that shows she’s done this before

I think they’re trying to impress me

Sitting on these stone benches

For men on their way to aging

Comfort for our aches

I’m young enough to takes these treks

I’m not sure how much longer

No particular aches or pains

Beyond the usual tiredness

It’s cold in Jerusalem

I’ll see my dad tomorrow

Last time I saw him

HE said “Oh my sorrow.”

Knowing that I heard him

Hoping I’d respond

Aware of who and how I am

He didn’t linger long

He knew who’d stand beside him

When push came to shove

He held on to my hand

As does a father’s love

It’s cold in Jerusalem

The wind blows slow and cold

Seems to send a shiver

City of the soul

It’s hard not to be caught up

But sanctimony ends

When you get involved

With problems of our friends

We all could have done better

Or at least some could

Some actually did it right

And they seem to be so good

Those of us in pride

Walked in our own way

The Hebrew speaking smoking Muslims

Got up and went away

One thing I did not do

Was go to the western wall

I kind of wanted to go

I might go after all

I might stay another night

Go home Saturday

No one knows just where I am

Except my mom so far away

Maybe she will tell

Then all will quickly know

If that is the case

Tomorrow home I’ll go

Not sure how much longer

Dad will be around

I’m glad I’ll get to see him

And let him know I love him

It’s cold in Jerusalem

The nations here still flow

To the Holy places

Like a river flow

Prophecy fulfilled

Here before our eyes

Its clearer and more clearly seen

As miracles pass by.

Some are so contented and

Don’t seek for themselves

And more attention

Then that which all folks get

But others they speak louder

It seems as if to say

Look at me I’m special

IN such a special way

It’s cold in Jerusalem

Is this another song

If it is I have to stop

Because it will be too long

Maybe its symphony

With Rainy Day In Ramallah

It’s cold in Jerualem.

Arabs standing by

Women by a car that’s parked

By the Herod Gate

They have their ideas

OF what this place will be

When the King of King Returns

Then Everyone will see

The One Who was pierced

In His hands and feet

To purchase our forgiveness

And meet our greatest need

For Him and Him alone

The purpose of our lives

He alone gives the Spirit

Who Makes the dead alive

It’s cold in Jerusalem

I’ll be going  now

To my hotel bed so warm

To lay my head down.

back in JFK

I’m at JFK airport. Been here many, many times before coming to and from Israel and Sweden. I always remember my firsts time coming here.  I was 9 years old and was with dad and Fatima. Mom had left and Dad was snatching us away to his village. Darat al Ayam. That was 1972 – October – 46 years ago. Half a century. I’m still OK looking.  I still have my health pretty much. Thank God. Going to see dad who is very weak.

lip twitching

How to stop lip twitching

There are a variety of causes of lip tremors, and therefore a wide variety of treatment methods. For some people, the easiest way to stop lip twitching is eating more bananas or other foods high in potassium. For others, getting Botox injections is the best way to get rid of the tremors. Talk with your healthcare provider about what’s causing your lip twitching and the best way to stop this symptom.

If you haven’t seen a healthcare provider yet, you may want to try one of these at-home remedies:

·         Reduce your daily coffee intake to less than three cups, or cut out caffeine altogether.

·         Reduce or cut out alcohol consumption altogether.

·         Eat more foods high in potassium like broccoli, spinach, bananas, and avocado.

·         Apply pressure to your lips using your fingers and a warm cloth.

March 2018

It’s 10:11 a.h. I’m in the Tom Bradley Terminal at the LAX one my way to New York. My flight starts boarding at 11:45.

I’m really groggy tired.

A guy came and sat closer to me than I am comfortable with but its cool.

No one hardly here.

Just saw a sigh that says “I am the real cross.” It’s a red cross ad. Oh jusThe guy wen awayt saw it says “I am the Red Cross.”

Last two days been whirlwind of grace and blessings.

I did show with Jacob yesterday had like six calls. One from someone I didn’t know. It was cool.

Riley, Andy, Karen, Lady from London, Dwaye called twice.

Ehab said he was so happy.

Jake said he’d like to host my program while I’m gone. I said sure go ahead.

If you love something let it go. It it comes back it was yours if it doesn’t it never was.

Brother Monir send me 2,000 – 500 for Pauline; 1,000 for lambs. 500 for me.

Went to breakfast with Paul he gave me 1,000

Parked my car in our space.

Jacob brought me here. I told him a lot of things. He had lots of questions.

Got message from Adel about Abed.

Will go from here to New York and on to Tel Aviv.

Mom called and as usual was very encouraging. She wanted me to greet Ahmed Shanara and Dad an Najat.

N. called today I didn’t answer.

I think they want to find out when I’m arriving. I want to have one day free so I can rest in Jerusalem

For one night before I go to DD.

Another  thing: Last night my bottom lip started throbbing or twitching I am not sure which. It’s the first time it’s happened. I had fallen asleep watching I think Judge Judy or a preacher from Riverside who was talking about the 8 walls of God’s keeping.

When I awoke my bottom lip seemed to be twitching. I wouldn’t really call it twitching. It felt more like it was throbbing but I’m not sure if that is right.

I looked it up on the internet and the two words I found were twitching and throbbing.  I don’t know which is right.

One lady wrote a post she is 41 years old and was scared that she was having  a stroke.

First time ever. One thing I read is it could be caffeine related or b1 vitamin. It said caffeine removes potassium or something.

The plane is boarding – I am in zone three. It’s now just for zone one and priority and military service members.

Was so blessed to get this ticket for less than $700.

I even got the insurance for $40.

Mom called as I was preparing to play at Beach Hut Deli last night. As always so wonderful.

Also on Sunday Aimen was preaching at Pastor Emil’s church and they called me to go. It was daylong conference. IT was great to see him. He is wonderful. I know him and his wife Hala from the confrerence with Tom and Teresa in Colorado years ago.

I went and saw the Carburys on Sunday night too. It was good they had some women gifts for their sister in Bethlahem. Was great to see them as always.

I bought flowers for Shad’s Mom and thanked her for her kindness and help in getting Shadi and me the apartment. There’s been some tension. Largely because of my discomfort with having her here. Father forgive me please.

A few days before I also had to have the sleep test. I went to the sleep center and was wired up. I failed to sleep but I think it might have worked anyway to see if I have sleep apnea.

Father, I am such a jerk sometimes. I have been a jerk here at the airport. I was seated between two people going to Tel Aviv ad they were really nice to me. Jewish. I could have been nicer. I wasn’t not nice but could have preached the Gospel.

I just had a large double chocolate cookie and my first cup of coffee -- $7 – yikes.

Last night I had fish and chips at Norms. Thank You Jesus for Norms.

Haz has a  vid about his movie.  And says coming soon.

Trump will be in Jerusalem when I am there like Obama was in Jerusalem when I was there last time.  I could board now. Maybe I will.

Let me melt in surrender to You Lord Jesus.

THE FAR LEFT LANE IS 3 WHICH IS WHAT I AM.

Im in New York now. I think we will be taking the same plane all the way to tel aviv. Maybe that’s why it was so inexpensive.

On the plane I watched Back to the Future and Simpsons and tanked. Sat by a Japanese lady who was quiet.

Our plane leaves 11:28 about 2 hours from now.

Lips were twitching on the plane too but funny because there was a piece of dark chocolate with the meal and on the website last night it said that dark chocolate was good for whateve conditions it was that led to this twitching throbbing

I think I’m feeling less guilty about going == as if it was too easy. But maybe it was God’s grace that eased everything for me.