Today is Saturday June and I was with Joel Treadwell, Brianna, Keri and Isaac. Was so nice to be with them. Keri's dad died a year ago too.
Went to Arab festival and spoke with several people had great time.
On Wednesday I asked God the Father to be my Father and do something special for me. That night the YWAM group from Finland and Israel. Paul brought them to Agostinos they ate and then they sang with me Kadosh. It was great
I got 1,500 from Tom Doyle ministry for the video.
I feel like God is near for my situation with Dad having passed away...
I performed at Gypsy Den; Agostinos, Barnoa, Bogarts where I did my new song for Dad and other songs in his honor.
There was also a chance for me to go to Tres Dias. I was there with the Korean Church. I stood up and confessed my immorality and hard heart.
While I was there -- the third day -- Dad died. Nasri sent me a message. I called Najat. The next day Dhabiya; Susu; Adleh; Tawfiq; Akram called me. Rita also called me.
Everyone has been wonderful.
I called Najwa and spoke with her....
Sunday, June 9, 2019
Friday, May 24, 2019
dad is sick again
All of Yusra's chidlren are in the iblad with Dad. He had another stroke and is in the hospital. Najat told me dad is ta'baan. Nassri called adn told me hes going to be back in the iblad until the 30th. I am not sure I'm going.
I think they want me to go.
the fact that they're all there tells me somethign is serious
I think they want me to go.
the fact that they're all there tells me somethign is serious
Thursday, May 9, 2019
back home
I've been back a few weeks now. Locked myself in my house on the leather couch that Randy got for me and did translation and made two thousand dollars. the computer kept working
thank God. Since then i got two sofas. I was going to Jaleel's house for his birthday and I got lost and saw two sofas for free.. nice brown ones.
I told Andrew and he helped me with his black truck to bring the sofas.
I am sitting on them now. Very nice. Haleluay
I was at Gypsey Den today Aaron was ncie to me
I sang Simple Man
i did Rub Inte Qareeb
Listening to RAshid ---
lots of reason for jealousy etc.
had dream "Two turtles died." One turtle I think survived.
I sent Karen a message to come over after the show. She had plans to go to church
i'm feeling longing to be with her and emptiness that only happens when you get close enough to feel longing
Father help me.
when I had the dream I felt like the Holy Spirit cares about my marraige He's as concerned about it as Mom is and more
went to Gypsey Den and did Simple Man with harmonica. I thought it was OK not rapturous response. then did Rabi inte Qareeb
thank God. Since then i got two sofas. I was going to Jaleel's house for his birthday and I got lost and saw two sofas for free.. nice brown ones.
I told Andrew and he helped me with his black truck to bring the sofas.
I am sitting on them now. Very nice. Haleluay
I was at Gypsey Den today Aaron was ncie to me
I sang Simple Man
i did Rub Inte Qareeb
Listening to RAshid ---
lots of reason for jealousy etc.
had dream "Two turtles died." One turtle I think survived.
I sent Karen a message to come over after the show. She had plans to go to church
i'm feeling longing to be with her and emptiness that only happens when you get close enough to feel longing
Father help me.
when I had the dream I felt like the Holy Spirit cares about my marraige He's as concerned about it as Mom is and more
went to Gypsey Den and did Simple Man with harmonica. I thought it was OK not rapturous response. then did Rabi inte Qareeb
Monday, April 22, 2019
the sadness
leaving is so painful
I have to turn my emotions down
like when i'm so tired and
i can't keep control of my emotions
i just tell myself to not listen to them
they are tired they are frayed
they can't be relied on for now
they just can't be
dad yesterday acted in a way
different from before
he wanted to keep his shoes on
he wanted to be ready to leave
i contacted Najat
she said she was scared to go out so late
i just wanted to tel her what was happening
i didn't want her to do anything
today dad wouldn't take off his pants
or his belt
he got angry at me in that way
and squeezed my hands with his nails
it was a look of "don't you understand
don't you know why i cant take my pants off
maybe he's dreaming of brazil
maybe he thinks he'll just float back there
to the green fields of rio grande de sol
the gaucho with his mate and his cowboy hat
maybe he'd think of his younger days
when he could take a ship to faraway
and find a beautiful young lad to marry
and to fly up to the golden coast
maybe he's dreaming of california
with its farmlands and farmhands
who can't make it to the city
so he can be their access to the clothing store
maybe he's dreaming of the golden gate
towering and high above the city scape
an unattainable dimension you can gaze upon
admire, wonder but never really touch
maybe he's dreaming of his boyhood days
shepherding his lambs with family
taking warm bread to the strangers nearby
and getting in return all sorts of vegetables
maybe he's dreaming of my mother
who shared a decade with him then went on
and left him with his old ways that didn't want to change
he'd follow them until this bitter end
maybe he's just dreaming of brazil
maybe he'd think of his younger days
when he could take a ship to faraway
and find a beautiful young lad to marry
I have to turn my emotions down
like when i'm so tired and
i can't keep control of my emotions
i just tell myself to not listen to them
they are tired they are frayed
they can't be relied on for now
they just can't be
dad yesterday acted in a way
different from before
he wanted to keep his shoes on
he wanted to be ready to leave
i contacted Najat
she said she was scared to go out so late
i just wanted to tel her what was happening
i didn't want her to do anything
today dad wouldn't take off his pants
or his belt
he got angry at me in that way
and squeezed my hands with his nails
it was a look of "don't you understand
don't you know why i cant take my pants off
maybe he's dreaming of brazil
maybe he thinks he'll just float back there
to the green fields of rio grande de sol
the gaucho with his mate and his cowboy hat
maybe he'd think of his younger days
when he could take a ship to faraway
and find a beautiful young lad to marry
and to fly up to the golden coast
maybe he's dreaming of california
with its farmlands and farmhands
who can't make it to the city
so he can be their access to the clothing store
maybe he's dreaming of the golden gate
towering and high above the city scape
an unattainable dimension you can gaze upon
admire, wonder but never really touch
maybe he's dreaming of his boyhood days
shepherding his lambs with family
taking warm bread to the strangers nearby
and getting in return all sorts of vegetables
maybe he's dreaming of my mother
who shared a decade with him then went on
and left him with his old ways that didn't want to change
he'd follow them until this bitter end
maybe he's just dreaming of brazil
maybe he'd think of his younger days
when he could take a ship to faraway
and find a beautiful young lad to marry
sitting in baranda
was sitting alone in baranda and sarah's son Khaled came over
he is divorcing his wife and she is keeping the kids
he said she has a boyfriend and talks about Jesus not Islam
went with dad to bir nabala and Najat and anoos. Saw Nasser, Dianna and Simon.
am leaving tomorrow. found out that Ihmaydi is coming the 29th that comforted my heart
everyone seems happier than yesterday
Dad wouldn't take off his clothes. He is fully dressed and even has the belt on. when I tried to take it off he got real angry and started cutting me with his fingernails.
Yusra is praying next to me now
went and bought two bottle of Bavaria...
tomorrw the plan is to take dad for can. shot and then to go meet with Pastor Monir and Michael to go to Ramleh
maybe will get to attend on more service before I leave
he is divorcing his wife and she is keeping the kids
he said she has a boyfriend and talks about Jesus not Islam
went with dad to bir nabala and Najat and anoos. Saw Nasser, Dianna and Simon.
am leaving tomorrow. found out that Ihmaydi is coming the 29th that comforted my heart
everyone seems happier than yesterday
Dad wouldn't take off his clothes. He is fully dressed and even has the belt on. when I tried to take it off he got real angry and started cutting me with his fingernails.
Yusra is praying next to me now
went and bought two bottle of Bavaria...
tomorrw the plan is to take dad for can. shot and then to go meet with Pastor Monir and Michael to go to Ramleh
maybe will get to attend on more service before I leave
Sunday, April 21, 2019
depression
i don't know if its depression
today I went to church, sunday service and afterwards we went out to an awesome fish restaurant with the whole church. but i wasn't enjoying anything. the joy is there beneath the ground and it peeps its head but the depression seems like a layer of fog
hard to rise above it.
i know part of it is wondering what Yusra's reaction is going to be when she finds out i'm leaving Tuesday
i don't know she may already know
im dreading telling her
yNajat came over and Yusra asked why I was leaving her alone. I didn't answer here when Najat and kids were here
it got pretty messy and stressed out
I spoke with Yusra afterward and she was very understanding and . i told her i was sick last year nad how Ihmaydi called me and why I told him. It went pretty well
she started crying i hugged her.
i feel a little bad but its true i agreed to come until the 24 and Ihmydi agreed
dad just got up and had his shoes on and was trying to put his pants on
i took him outside its 1030 at night. it was very hard. i wrote to Najat to help
she said she is scared to go out now
its cold and dark
finally i got dad to go to sleep fully clothed he is snoring now
i ate ihwayra sandwich and mamoul cookie and am drinking non alcoholic beer
am sitting listening to IHOP live streamed worship
dad's still snoring.
Najat said some really mean things I supposed out of frustration i didn't respond I was in the bathroom with dad when she said those things in front of her kids
later i texted her about dads behavior and she responded
i was scared to be in this situation. it felt like another set up like the the last time but it wasn't as bad
no mainpulation. Yusra seemmed to accept that I was leaving. When I spoke to her she went on a long spiel about Amo Isa and how he treated her so long ago and Fatima and everyone
she really went through it. I think she enjoys telling me about it
i hugged her and put my head on hers
today I went to church, sunday service and afterwards we went out to an awesome fish restaurant with the whole church. but i wasn't enjoying anything. the joy is there beneath the ground and it peeps its head but the depression seems like a layer of fog
hard to rise above it.
i know part of it is wondering what Yusra's reaction is going to be when she finds out i'm leaving Tuesday
i don't know she may already know
im dreading telling her
yNajat came over and Yusra asked why I was leaving her alone. I didn't answer here when Najat and kids were here
it got pretty messy and stressed out
I spoke with Yusra afterward and she was very understanding and . i told her i was sick last year nad how Ihmaydi called me and why I told him. It went pretty well
she started crying i hugged her.
i feel a little bad but its true i agreed to come until the 24 and Ihmydi agreed
dad just got up and had his shoes on and was trying to put his pants on
i took him outside its 1030 at night. it was very hard. i wrote to Najat to help
she said she is scared to go out now
its cold and dark
finally i got dad to go to sleep fully clothed he is snoring now
i ate ihwayra sandwich and mamoul cookie and am drinking non alcoholic beer
am sitting listening to IHOP live streamed worship
dad's still snoring.
Najat said some really mean things I supposed out of frustration i didn't respond I was in the bathroom with dad when she said those things in front of her kids
later i texted her about dads behavior and she responded
i was scared to be in this situation. it felt like another set up like the the last time but it wasn't as bad
no mainpulation. Yusra seemmed to accept that I was leaving. When I spoke to her she went on a long spiel about Amo Isa and how he treated her so long ago and Fatima and everyone
she really went through it. I think she enjoys telling me about it
i hugged her and put my head on hers
Friday, April 19, 2019
its been a while
i preached last sunday. am leaving Tuesday
it is passover week and the borders are closed
i have only 20 dollars left in my checking account
just had breakfast with dad
countdown five days
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
on Tuesday i have to go to take dad to hospital for c shot with Najat. it seems to have worked or helped
from 88 the psa or something like that went to 12
it should be 4
but the drop is significant and the doctor i spoke with yesterday told me it is very good
its a cold day. last night it was freezing in Ramallah and I was standing out there in just a short sleeve shirt and the blue flannel shirt. my fingers were freezing
i was invited by Hanna to have lunch with Pastor Monir and the kids from the school on Sunday..i said I would have to see how my dad is though I would like to go
been a rough couple of days
last night dad was restless. i wonder if he knows i'm leaving and is frustrated. I don't know.
how much does he know?
how much is he capable of caring about....
is it only simple basic issues that concern him -- food, warmth, society, going to bathroom,
he gets angry well..
he doesn't like it when we minimize his feelings or reaction....
i tried to get dad dressed to take him out but Yusra says let him sleep to where he stays up to 11 pm tonight. i don't like
am like plaster face now. wanted to take dad out Yura won't agree
today is Friday my least favorite day here. its either too quiet or too noisy.
I was trying to go out and so much pressure Y not to go out with him to the store. I deceided grudgingly to stay in and then she said if you want to go to Akel get water.
N. called for me to take car and take dad out
Dad came out and with the cane with four spikes on the bottom. and we walked up to Habsis house and he stopped. I said do you want to go back and he said go back (irja')
we came in.
am inside now waiting for lunch so we can go out in the car
Paul Frizzel posted this
talked to Pastor Monir about closure and he said taht I could go with them to Ramleh on Tuesday and then go straigth to airport with Michael
told Najat about Tuesday. she said we can go to Bir Nabala tomorrow to see Nasser and Diana's place
it is passover week and the borders are closed
i have only 20 dollars left in my checking account
just had breakfast with dad
countdown five days
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
on Tuesday i have to go to take dad to hospital for c shot with Najat. it seems to have worked or helped
from 88 the psa or something like that went to 12
it should be 4
but the drop is significant and the doctor i spoke with yesterday told me it is very good
its a cold day. last night it was freezing in Ramallah and I was standing out there in just a short sleeve shirt and the blue flannel shirt. my fingers were freezing
i was invited by Hanna to have lunch with Pastor Monir and the kids from the school on Sunday..i said I would have to see how my dad is though I would like to go
been a rough couple of days
last night dad was restless. i wonder if he knows i'm leaving and is frustrated. I don't know.
how much does he know?
how much is he capable of caring about....
is it only simple basic issues that concern him -- food, warmth, society, going to bathroom,
he gets angry well..
he doesn't like it when we minimize his feelings or reaction....
i tried to get dad dressed to take him out but Yusra says let him sleep to where he stays up to 11 pm tonight. i don't like
am like plaster face now. wanted to take dad out Yura won't agree
today is Friday my least favorite day here. its either too quiet or too noisy.
I was trying to go out and so much pressure Y not to go out with him to the store. I deceided grudgingly to stay in and then she said if you want to go to Akel get water.
N. called for me to take car and take dad out
Dad came out and with the cane with four spikes on the bottom. and we walked up to Habsis house and he stopped. I said do you want to go back and he said go back (irja')
we came in.
am inside now waiting for lunch so we can go out in the car
Paul Frizzel posted this
talked to Pastor Monir about closure and he said taht I could go with them to Ramleh on Tuesday and then go straigth to airport with Michael
told Najat about Tuesday. she said we can go to Bir Nabala tomorrow to see Nasser and Diana's place
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Rabbinic sources such as Midrash Tanhuma Lekh Lekhah 6, Targum Yonatan to Exodus 14:1, and Eruvin 53a[5]:2 identify Amraphel with Nimrod. This is also asserted in the 11th chapter of the Sefer haYashar, attested from the early 17th century:
Genesis Rabbah 42 says Amraphel was called by three names: Cush, after his father's name (Gen. 10:8), Nimrod, because he established rebellion (mrd) in the world, and Amraphel, as he declared (amar) "I will cast down" (apilah).
Arioch and Eleasar[edit]
Some historians have placed the area where Arioch ruled in Asia Minor, but theories as to its specific locations differ, with some claiming it was in Pontus while others cite Cappadocia and Antioch.[5] There are also sources which associated Ellasar with the kingdom of Larsa and suggested that Arioch could be one of its kings called Eri-Aku, an Akkadian translation for the name Rim-Si, where rim meant servant and Sin is the Semitic name of the moon god (Agu or Aku in Akkadian).[6]
By the 20th century, this theory became popular so that it was common to identify Arioch with Eriaku — through the alternative reading of either Rim-Sin or his brother Warad-Sin, who were both believed to be contemporary with Hammurabi.[7]
Chedorlaomer, also spelled Kedorlaomer (/ˌkɛdərˈleɪəmər/; Hebrew: כְּדָרְלָעֹמֶר, Modern: Kədarla'ōmer, Tiberian: Keḏārelā'ōmer, Ancient:Keḏārelāġōmer), is a king of Elam in Genesis 14.[1] Genesis portrays him as allied with three other kings,[2] campaigning against five Canaanite city-states in response to an uprising in the days of Abraham.
watching Kathryn Kuhlman
been a few days
its 2 p.m. i am thinking of going to Ramallah. i have no money
i can't buy a cup of coffee
went and got 200 shekels and taught Amira how to use atm -- she also got 200 shekels
then I bought a cup of coffee.
am back at the house
dad wanted to sleep in teh bed that's where he is now
i'm sitting next to him watching him. am a bit resentful that Yusra asked me to do this
but i'm ok
been a few days since i reported here
i preached on Sunday about the Tees of Abraham...afterwards Mohammed's wife said she had a dream about fleeing her home with the kids befoer it collapsed. Nasser told her it was like my message which included mention of Lot.
Diana did seem overly excited with my preaching.
its 2 p.m. i am thinking of going to Ramallah. i have no money
i can't buy a cup of coffee
went and got 200 shekels and taught Amira how to use atm -- she also got 200 shekels
then I bought a cup of coffee.
am back at the house
dad wanted to sleep in teh bed that's where he is now
i'm sitting next to him watching him. am a bit resentful that Yusra asked me to do this
but i'm ok
been a few days since i reported here
i preached on Sunday about the Tees of Abraham...afterwards Mohammed's wife said she had a dream about fleeing her home with the kids befoer it collapsed. Nasser told her it was like my message which included mention of Lot.
Diana did seem overly excited with my preaching.
kind of wanted to go to a wedding today here in the village. i don't know anyone and I dont' have money to give
not sure if i should go. am feeling bad sitting here all day with dad
was going to go sit in front of akel but they are doin their carpet sale and i don't feel particualry welcome there
om
felt bad for dad
we came back home
its 12:10
fed dad and ate and am sitting in my room writing
got nervous becaue Yusra brought out the suitcase. makes me think she's got plans
i understand her desire to flee
not sure if i should go. am feeling bad sitting here all day with dad
was going to go sit in front of akel but they are doin their carpet sale and i don't feel particualry welcome there
om
felt bad for dad
we came back home
its 12:10
fed dad and ate and am sitting in my room writing
got nervous becaue Yusra brought out the suitcase. makes me think she's got plans
i understand her desire to flee
been a while
am in the room using Adla's computer for this long overdue update
been reading news all morning.
last night had to change dad...
got up and had complaints about things i couldn't have done anything about. ignored it
dad is in living room with brown blanket over him after bath
waiting for breakfast. it is 11 a.m.
Palestinian TV is on
i don't usually get very far on these posts. i'm usually a lot more excited about doing them than they seem worth
i'm leaving in seven days. i'm so broke. i only have 100 dollars left in checking account and no cash
dad needs diapers.....
when i get back i will stay in house till i finish five episodes and get money to pay my rent unless i get some major infusion of cash
i usually do when i go home after one of these trips...
been reading news all morning.
last night had to change dad...
got up and had complaints about things i couldn't have done anything about. ignored it
dad is in living room with brown blanket over him after bath
waiting for breakfast. it is 11 a.m.
Palestinian TV is on
i don't usually get very far on these posts. i'm usually a lot more excited about doing them than they seem worth
i'm leaving in seven days. i'm so broke. i only have 100 dollars left in checking account and no cash
dad needs diapers.....
when i get back i will stay in house till i finish five episodes and get money to pay my rent unless i get some major infusion of cash
i usually do when i go home after one of these trips...
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
easy day
dad is a sleep i am using Adula's computer which is much better than mine.
took the car back. seems like it was a great investment. Yusra, Najat and Dad seemed really happy with the trips.
have prepared my slides for Trees of Abraham Sunday
took the car back. seems like it was a great investment. Yusra, Najat and Dad seemed really happy with the trips.
have prepared my slides for Trees of Abraham Sunday
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Jaffa/Jerusalem
Rented a car so was able to go to Jaffa and Jerusalem....
In Jerusalem, dropped off Dad and Najat and Yusra at al Aqsa and went to Holy Sepluchre....
came Yusra was gone...
was having a little trouble getting into the compound...
first time a guy asked me "Are you Muslim?" I just said my dad is inside...
on way out, an Israeli soldier told me "You can't go in."
then when I returned because they were finished, Ysra had disappeared. I went to look for her after a while and went out one of the side gates and then they wouldn't let me in...
The Israelis asked me: "Are you Muslim," I said "I'm Christian but my dad is Muslim." They said i coudln't go in
I told them my dad is inside on a wheelchair and needs help. They tried to help me and brought some Waqf guy
He asked if I was Muslim, I said my dad is and he is sick and needs help
The guy said: Are you Arab? I said I'm from Deir Debwan
Then he said "Didn't you just ocme out? I said "Yes I"m looking for my step mother."
He said "You lost your step mother too?
and they let me in
then we decided to go to Old Man and the Sea in Jaffa
I didn't know how to get to Jaffa never mind Old Man....
we took off got there at night....had so many Israeli taxi drivers help us by giving me direction which way to go
One guy said, "There's a big chimmney on the right go till you see it and go right."
Finally one guy told me to follow him and he showed me the way to Jaffa until we got near therestaurant and it was a bear to find it but we finally did.
it was amazing.... great meal by the sea
then we came back the day before Israeli elections almost got locked out of the west bank
the next day we went to Nablus and I had to go to bathroom so bad and got mad. Anoos and Najat came
we ended up in Jericho eating Dominoes. It was fun
Abde called.
In Jerusalem, dropped off Dad and Najat and Yusra at al Aqsa and went to Holy Sepluchre....
came Yusra was gone...
was having a little trouble getting into the compound...
first time a guy asked me "Are you Muslim?" I just said my dad is inside...
on way out, an Israeli soldier told me "You can't go in."
then when I returned because they were finished, Ysra had disappeared. I went to look for her after a while and went out one of the side gates and then they wouldn't let me in...
The Israelis asked me: "Are you Muslim," I said "I'm Christian but my dad is Muslim." They said i coudln't go in
I told them my dad is inside on a wheelchair and needs help. They tried to help me and brought some Waqf guy
He asked if I was Muslim, I said my dad is and he is sick and needs help
The guy said: Are you Arab? I said I'm from Deir Debwan
Then he said "Didn't you just ocme out? I said "Yes I"m looking for my step mother."
He said "You lost your step mother too?
and they let me in
then we decided to go to Old Man and the Sea in Jaffa
I didn't know how to get to Jaffa never mind Old Man....
we took off got there at night....had so many Israeli taxi drivers help us by giving me direction which way to go
One guy said, "There's a big chimmney on the right go till you see it and go right."
Finally one guy told me to follow him and he showed me the way to Jaffa until we got near therestaurant and it was a bear to find it but we finally did.
it was amazing.... great meal by the sea
then we came back the day before Israeli elections almost got locked out of the west bank
the next day we went to Nablus and I had to go to bathroom so bad and got mad. Anoos and Najat came
we ended up in Jericho eating Dominoes. It was fun
Abde called.
Sunday, April 7, 2019
preached
i preached at church. i think it was great:
good comments from several people
came home with Najat
she wants to rent a car so we can go to Jerusalem tomorrow. I think she did
Pastor wants me to preach again next Sunday
disappointment and depression even though i had a pretty good day
i'm acting like i just can't trust my feelings right now because i'm too tired
good comments from several people
came home with Najat
she wants to rent a car so we can go to Jerusalem tomorrow. I think she did
Pastor wants me to preach again next Sunday
disappointment and depression even though i had a pretty good day
i'm acting like i just can't trust my feelings right now because i'm too tired
Saturday, April 6, 2019
Saturday night b4 Sunday
couple of cool things happened
I was asked Sunday to preach again tomorrow. Pastor is here
I wanted to preach about the resurrection but then got overwhelmed by the imensity of the subject and afraid that the voluminous information would get away from the thrust of the resurrection
which is that I've had in me for a long time: that after the resurrection everything changed
i was thinking of changing the subject to trees of abraham when i saw a video that is about the resurrection presented in a way that I could relate to. so I'm doing it tomorrow
today Yusra asked me aobut where my money is. I asked why and finally she said that she couldn't pay the power bill and the gas for the oven.
then Anoos came and she told him about it making me look and feel like a tiny bug
then i said "order it" about the gas for the oven. then I went up to the bank to get money to pay for it and then when I neared the bank i saw a truck with gas barrels. i asked the guy if he could bring it by for us and he said he wanted me togo with him which was great. i sat in the truck and went with him and he changed it with Anoos here. it made me look good like a divine appointment and some thing that mattered to Jesus.
then Najat asked me to take the kids to get Falafal in Batiyn which was great.
I took Dad out today and we made it to Attas store. WE sat there about an hour. Atta started preaching and I was about to say something when two men came up.
I am still wearing the Call Unto Me bracelet the whole time I've been ehre. I've had quesitons from Akel and Atta about
also dad has been sleeping good for the last two night. I have been saying "In the Name of Jesus good sleep and good dreams."
I asked Yusra "Who is Jesus mother." She didn't know. I told her she is Miryam. And she told me how she had a picture of Mary with JEsus but dad told her Muslims don't keep that picture in their homes.
today I asked her what she knew about Adam and Eve.
I was asked Sunday to preach again tomorrow. Pastor is here
I wanted to preach about the resurrection but then got overwhelmed by the imensity of the subject and afraid that the voluminous information would get away from the thrust of the resurrection
which is that I've had in me for a long time: that after the resurrection everything changed
i was thinking of changing the subject to trees of abraham when i saw a video that is about the resurrection presented in a way that I could relate to. so I'm doing it tomorrow
today Yusra asked me aobut where my money is. I asked why and finally she said that she couldn't pay the power bill and the gas for the oven.
then Anoos came and she told him about it making me look and feel like a tiny bug
then i said "order it" about the gas for the oven. then I went up to the bank to get money to pay for it and then when I neared the bank i saw a truck with gas barrels. i asked the guy if he could bring it by for us and he said he wanted me togo with him which was great. i sat in the truck and went with him and he changed it with Anoos here. it made me look good like a divine appointment and some thing that mattered to Jesus.
then Najat asked me to take the kids to get Falafal in Batiyn which was great.
I took Dad out today and we made it to Attas store. WE sat there about an hour. Atta started preaching and I was about to say something when two men came up.
I am still wearing the Call Unto Me bracelet the whole time I've been ehre. I've had quesitons from Akel and Atta about
also dad has been sleeping good for the last two night. I have been saying "In the Name of Jesus good sleep and good dreams."
I asked Yusra "Who is Jesus mother." She didn't know. I told her she is Miryam. And she told me how she had a picture of Mary with JEsus but dad told her Muslims don't keep that picture in their homes.
today I asked her what she knew about Adam and Eve.
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
great day/long night
after a great witnessing sess. i got attacked during the day and had to fight hard against that spirit. i went out to get medicine for dad in the rain -- it was raining lightly and then started raining harder. i was praying hard in tongues to break off the power of that evil gimp. i finally felt a break through as i kept listening to praise music on my way to Ramallah through the checkpoint and then I stood at the corner by the concrete eifel tower in teh rain praying hard in tongues. then no cars were stopping to pick me up i crossed the street and decided to just go to the bus station in Ramallah and ride the Deir Dibwan bus which I did. It was good. I was praying listening to praise music and even some rock on teh way. My spirit was freed. I felt a revival. called Yusraa on the way back and said I'd be late she said it was OK.
came back and Najat and Anoos came and we took Dad to Nafeeza and had shakes (banana for dad and me). and came back.
Dad stayed up till 9:30 and slept. He woke me up around 11:30 struggling and taking off his daiper. When I finally got up he had messed on the bed but had also taken out the hose that had been inserted to help him urinate.
I freaked and called Najat and fortunately TAwfiq was on the line and he knew waht to do. He said not to put the hose back in. He said to throw the old hose away and that the doctor had to put another one in. I cleaned him up and put the old condom method on again. he seems OK with it for now.
I am waiting for a call from Najat to see if we have to take him to the doctor to put a hose back in.
he got up ate a bunch of stuff and went back to sleep.
had a bad thing happen. I told Yusra what happened last night. She said she heard the commotion and said "I couldn't do anything."
I said "Yeah you didn't do anything."
She said "Hamdulilah." in a resigned depressed way.
I shouldnot have said that. She has done plenty for such a long time.
it came to a head and I had to apologize for saying that. glad its over
y. broke the fauset int he bathroom. i paid to have it fixed 270 shekels
then moved sixty dollars from paypal to my wellsaccount and got 300 shekelsand bought Dad tape and medicine.
got a counterfeit 10 shekel piece from the pharmacy and returned it. they gave me another one. Akel told me about it when he wouldn't accept it.
talked to Adla on facetime.......
and Susu
came back and Najat and Anoos came and we took Dad to Nafeeza and had shakes (banana for dad and me). and came back.
Dad stayed up till 9:30 and slept. He woke me up around 11:30 struggling and taking off his daiper. When I finally got up he had messed on the bed but had also taken out the hose that had been inserted to help him urinate.
I freaked and called Najat and fortunately TAwfiq was on the line and he knew waht to do. He said not to put the hose back in. He said to throw the old hose away and that the doctor had to put another one in. I cleaned him up and put the old condom method on again. he seems OK with it for now.
I am waiting for a call from Najat to see if we have to take him to the doctor to put a hose back in.
he got up ate a bunch of stuff and went back to sleep.
had a bad thing happen. I told Yusra what happened last night. She said she heard the commotion and said "I couldn't do anything."
I said "Yeah you didn't do anything."
She said "Hamdulilah." in a resigned depressed way.
I shouldnot have said that. She has done plenty for such a long time.
it came to a head and I had to apologize for saying that. glad its over
y. broke the fauset int he bathroom. i paid to have it fixed 270 shekels
then moved sixty dollars from paypal to my wellsaccount and got 300 shekelsand bought Dad tape and medicine.
got a counterfeit 10 shekel piece from the pharmacy and returned it. they gave me another one. Akel told me about it when he wouldn't accept it.
talked to Adla on facetime.......
and Susu
Sunday, March 31, 2019
one day at a time
been struggling with dad for the last hour or so, it's 830 a.m. i was comforted somewhat that both he and yusra are snoring up a snorefes that means both are asleep and i have a few minutes of peace. . he's been trying to get out of bed for thelast hour. i keep telling him its too early. she is rightly tired. poor lady. we had great discussion about islam and Christianity last night. she sahred some of her beliefs about muslims who deal with christians that they die early. its crazy. then when i told her the verse 33:50 about mo's many available women and i had forgotted that the word "yustankihooha" was in there. it kind of shocked her i think. i pushed it and she was unable to defend it. she tried to change the subject was unable
i hope this opens up the door to talk more plainly
i deep having to tell day "nazel ijrayk" put you legs down and go back to sleep...
i hope this opens up the door to talk more plainly
i deep having to tell day "nazel ijrayk" put you legs down and go back to sleep...
had the talk
had a long, long talk with Yusra very amiable and trusting on both sides
it told her about why Jesus died and how God loves her
she told me how she feels something guiding her
she told me of a dream she had of an army protecting the house when she was alone with teh kids in the 70s
then I read to her Surat al Ahzab 50. she would change the subject and say she didn't believe it I would not let it go telling her this is allahs words to mo.
not sure where it will lead but I feel I did what I came here to do
i think the door is open for more conversations
this is after the hat incident......
it told her about why Jesus died and how God loves her
she told me how she feels something guiding her
she told me of a dream she had of an army protecting the house when she was alone with teh kids in the 70s
then I read to her Surat al Ahzab 50. she would change the subject and say she didn't believe it I would not let it go telling her this is allahs words to mo.
not sure where it will lead but I feel I did what I came here to do
i think the door is open for more conversations
this is after the hat incident......
Preached in Ramallah
i think it was great based on comments and how I felt. I was reallllllly tired mostly because dad didn't let me sleep much last night.
The cat and the hat:
If you remember the cat situation that happened when I was here in 2013 ---
today was another incident == Y said that the hat that I was wearing, the one Randy got from where he was with a lizard on it is the enemy of Muslims. She said she didn't want me to wear it in the house. She, or someone left a beige hat on the bed. when I was at church I looked at the hat and there is writing on it. It said either Mohammed and a bunch of dots after it or "muharar" freed and then "sh" like freed from satan
she knows what she did. someone else wrote the message on the hat. at church folks. the dentist said to just pretend nothing happened since that has no power over me. his wife said that my weakness is my step mother..
i was seriously considering what i should do when Nicoli kind of just told me to brush it off as the nothing it i
The cat and the hat:
If you remember the cat situation that happened when I was here in 2013 ---
today was another incident == Y said that the hat that I was wearing, the one Randy got from where he was with a lizard on it is the enemy of Muslims. She said she didn't want me to wear it in the house. She, or someone left a beige hat on the bed. when I was at church I looked at the hat and there is writing on it. It said either Mohammed and a bunch of dots after it or "muharar" freed and then "sh" like freed from satan
she knows what she did. someone else wrote the message on the hat. at church folks. the dentist said to just pretend nothing happened since that has no power over me. his wife said that my weakness is my step mother..
i was seriously considering what i should do when Nicoli kind of just told me to brush it off as the nothing it i
Friday, March 29, 2019
another Friday
Dad made e nough noise last night that I got up and changed him and went back to sleep. Then he and I both went back to sleep. I stayed in living room until 4 a.m. and then went to the room. I slept till around 10 30 he slept till past noon
then he sat in teh house all day with red blanket around him
I took him for a walk and he walked all the way to the street and back with the walker
I asked him several times if he wanted to go back and he said no he wanted to go to the end
then i went ot quality store and the son of SArah's husband I think Ibrahim was there and he said he didn't know I had come. I said that I don't get out as much because dad can't go out like before. He had a very sincere smile and look in his eye. he was happy that I'm here.
the owner of Qurality too.
Yusra told me this morning that my baseball cap with the lizard, the lizard is the enemy of Muslims she said. I said isn't it a creation of God?
She said she wouldn't let me give my dad a bath unless I took it off, it was off at the time. I told her its the symbol of the island where my friend (Randy) went.
she wanted to give him a bath because it is Friday and he needs to be pure.
I said i would bathe him she wouldn't let me -- largely because of my hat
then in teh bathroom he fell and she needed help pulling him up.
I said I thought you didn't want my help. She said I don't want you to bathe him.
yeah
whatever.
Dhahabya had aother baby boy: Amir this is along with her older son Sofyan
Also Shayla had a baby: Zephyr
then he sat in teh house all day with red blanket around him
I took him for a walk and he walked all the way to the street and back with the walker
I asked him several times if he wanted to go back and he said no he wanted to go to the end
then i went ot quality store and the son of SArah's husband I think Ibrahim was there and he said he didn't know I had come. I said that I don't get out as much because dad can't go out like before. He had a very sincere smile and look in his eye. he was happy that I'm here.
the owner of Qurality too.
Yusra told me this morning that my baseball cap with the lizard, the lizard is the enemy of Muslims she said. I said isn't it a creation of God?
She said she wouldn't let me give my dad a bath unless I took it off, it was off at the time. I told her its the symbol of the island where my friend (Randy) went.
she wanted to give him a bath because it is Friday and he needs to be pure.
I said i would bathe him she wouldn't let me -- largely because of my hat
then in teh bathroom he fell and she needed help pulling him up.
I said I thought you didn't want my help. She said I don't want you to bathe him.
yeah
whatever.
Dhahabya had aother baby boy: Amir this is along with her older son Sofyan
Also Shayla had a baby: Zephyr
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Ramleh
preached last night. Really good reception. I preached 33 minutes and did a song about Rafah as a prayer. I also asked them to pray for Y. Everyone did it was great. Slept in Ramallah.
Just got home
am home with Dad now. He said: Quero senta aqui.
am having to prepare for Sunda which I want to make about Mary Sister of Lazarus
Just got home
am home with Dad now. He said: Quero senta aqui.
am having to prepare for Sunda which I want to make about Mary Sister of Lazarus
Monday, March 25, 2019
dad is inside
sleeping as TV plays. its cold I put on the heater
had coffee from Akel and a chocolate muffin. Brought one for dad
I also have a coconut pastry Akel told me I would like
He told me I am his cousin via Awawdeh
its a little cold on the patio its about 2:44. Munhafeth == wheather conditions ==
gray skies
a cat just tried to come in i kicked him out. hope he will come again
President Trump has been vindicated in the Russiagate. I'm watching CNN 2016 election coverage again to celebrate
Palestinian TV playing in the background. I think its similar ot the IRish music in terms of sadness
I told Dad: They told you that you would go to hell because I am not a Muslim. That's a lie. You will go to heaven because of Jesus. Both of us will.
had coffee from Akel and a chocolate muffin. Brought one for dad
I also have a coconut pastry Akel told me I would like
He told me I am his cousin via Awawdeh
its a little cold on the patio its about 2:44. Munhafeth == wheather conditions ==
gray skies
a cat just tried to come in i kicked him out. hope he will come again
President Trump has been vindicated in the Russiagate. I'm watching CNN 2016 election coverage again to celebrate
Palestinian TV playing in the background. I think its similar ot the IRish music in terms of sadness
I told Dad: They told you that you would go to hell because I am not a Muslim. That's a lie. You will go to heaven because of Jesus. Both of us will.
Sunday, March 24, 2019
preachd at church
had a pretty good day. went to church and preached this morning. on the way Imad told me all about his kid who is sick in America. I told him he should go if he can. My sermon was well received. Had great reactions: one lady told me "everytime you bring fire," another said she recorded the whole thing, others complimented me as well and Michale wants me to go with him on Tuesday. I already told Yusra.
had a go around with Yusra. She locked the door and took the key at 9 p.m. I called Najat and said I felt myself imprisoned when she does that. Najat said she was going to call Najwa and have her talk to her mother. I called Najat back and said I would try to talk to Yusra. I did. I asked her why Ihmaydi could come and go as late as he wanted and I couldn't.
She told me the key was on the TV. when I told her I felt myself imprisoned, she mocked me as if I was a fool to say that. Maybe I am a little. But it worked. I got the keys and they're in the door. I'm at rest.
main thing the fire is quenched. she already had a meaningless argument with Najat.
I figured if Najwa or someone else called it would have exploded.
Thank you Jesus things are quiet now, again.
in a sense the fact that she said that I was foolish for feeling that way maybe is a good thing because it is so far from her mind what I was thinking.
Peace in teh valley
Father let there be peace in this valley. Please let things go smoothe. It's a funny situation. It's hard to know all the rights and wrongs of everything. I know my brothers and sisters and doing more than I am.
just reading about Yemen's war. i wonder if i should be doing something more about it.
had a go around with Yusra. She locked the door and took the key at 9 p.m. I called Najat and said I felt myself imprisoned when she does that. Najat said she was going to call Najwa and have her talk to her mother. I called Najat back and said I would try to talk to Yusra. I did. I asked her why Ihmaydi could come and go as late as he wanted and I couldn't.
She told me the key was on the TV. when I told her I felt myself imprisoned, she mocked me as if I was a fool to say that. Maybe I am a little. But it worked. I got the keys and they're in the door. I'm at rest.
main thing the fire is quenched. she already had a meaningless argument with Najat.
I figured if Najwa or someone else called it would have exploded.
Thank you Jesus things are quiet now, again.
in a sense the fact that she said that I was foolish for feeling that way maybe is a good thing because it is so far from her mind what I was thinking.
Peace in teh valley
Father let there be peace in this valley. Please let things go smoothe. It's a funny situation. It's hard to know all the rights and wrongs of everything. I know my brothers and sisters and doing more than I am.
just reading about Yemen's war. i wonder if i should be doing something more about it.
Friday, March 22, 2019
ONe Day at a Time
I've been thinking about that song recently.
life is more bearable here when you are living one day at a time. It's difficult to think about the future here
also the new PC ONe Day at a tTime was cancelled on NeTFLIX
didn't have to take
life is more bearable here when you are living one day at a time. It's difficult to think about the future here
also the new PC ONe Day at a tTime was cancelled on NeTFLIX
didn't have to take
terrible night
i went to church and had a good time but i came home and dad was really having problems last night
.
he kept kicking and clawing all night long until about 3. it was one of the worst displays i've seen
i went into room about 3 and slept until about 8 and yusra was picking him up off the bathrrom floor and I told her to let me get him
she talked me into going back to bed.
had good breakfast am drinking tea
dad is doing prayer motions
.
he kept kicking and clawing all night long until about 3. it was one of the worst displays i've seen
i went into room about 3 and slept until about 8 and yusra was picking him up off the bathrrom floor and I told her to let me get him
she talked me into going back to bed.
had good breakfast am drinking tea
dad is doing prayer motions
Thursday, March 21, 2019
had decent night's sleep. i think everyone did
everyone seems to be feeling better today. good sleep. Mercy of God
i have been watching supremes videos today and some old open mike performances -- band on the run
Told Y. the sotry of the adulterous woman who kissed Jesus feet......she said everything is possible whether Muslim or Christian
i have been watching supremes videos today and some old open mike performances -- band on the run
Told Y. the sotry of the adulterous woman who kissed Jesus feet......she said everything is possible whether Muslim or Christian
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
what i can feel good about
show
wiht FZ
show with David
show with Hazem
my children in the Lord
Mary, Loca, Angelo, Jefferson, Gaza group, Ahab, Motessum, Jacob
wiht FZ
show with David
show with Hazem
my children in the Lord
Mary, Loca, Angelo, Jefferson, Gaza group, Ahab, Motessum, Jacob
another not so easy day
woke up early bathed dad and took him wiht Najat to hospital. HE had a shot of Zoladex:
got back after hot, long, crowded driving and pushing wheel chair in Ramallah hospital and all over Ramallah. It was a very tiring day and since I didn't sleep very well.
when i got back dad didn't want to go in. He wanted to go out. I was so tired and wanted to rest. He didn't want to. He kept trying to go out.
finally i took him out to sit outside the gate. then i went to buy juice and came back. he and yusra were walking
then I said I wanted to visit Wasfieh. I did and took a long time. When I got back yusra was furious at me for something or other about dad.
later Yusra said to me when I said I want to go to the store: Go there but don't go anywhwere else. I said"I'll go wherever I want."
it was a breaking free moment
I gave dad the meds before bedtime.
I think I learned something about dad at night. When he starts kicking and stuff to get up. Let him get up and walk to bathroom or whatever and then show him that it is night and take him back to bed. It worked last night
got back after hot, long, crowded driving and pushing wheel chair in Ramallah hospital and all over Ramallah. It was a very tiring day and since I didn't sleep very well.
when i got back dad didn't want to go in. He wanted to go out. I was so tired and wanted to rest. He didn't want to. He kept trying to go out.
finally i took him out to sit outside the gate. then i went to buy juice and came back. he and yusra were walking
then I said I wanted to visit Wasfieh. I did and took a long time. When I got back yusra was furious at me for something or other about dad.
later Yusra said to me when I said I want to go to the store: Go there but don't go anywhwere else. I said"I'll go wherever I want."
it was a breaking free moment
I gave dad the meds before bedtime.
I think I learned something about dad at night. When he starts kicking and stuff to get up. Let him get up and walk to bathroom or whatever and then show him that it is night and take him back to bed. It worked last night
Monday, March 18, 2019
Sameer's Market is the largest supermarket in our neighborhood. There are four such markets in my village of about 4,000 people in the West Bank about 15 miles from Jerusalem, which is visible on a mountain ridge across a few valleys.
It's not a Costco or Walmart by any means. It's more the size of a 7-11. They recently started selling fresh American coffee. I buy a cup almost every day.
I've been here since mid-March. It's my fourth trip to the Holy Land to help care for my aging father. I came in 2013 when he first had a stroke. I stayed three months. I came back in 2016 after he fell and broke his hip. I stayed for five months. I came back in 2018 for another three months. And this is my fourth trip.
It's not a Costco or Walmart by any means. It's more the size of a 7-11. They recently started selling fresh American coffee. I buy a cup almost every day.
I've been here since mid-March. It's my fourth trip to the Holy Land to help care for my aging father. I came in 2013 when he first had a stroke. I stayed three months. I came back in 2016 after he fell and broke his hip. I stayed for five months. I came back in 2018 for another three months. And this is my fourth trip.
Dad is very weak. He can't do anything by himself, even stand up from a chair. Recently it was discovered he has prostate cancer. At 85 years old, they are not sure what they can do about it here.
I came to replace my younger brother who helps his mother, (my step-mother) to care for my dad.
Today, I bought the black American coffee from Sameer's Market and came back home. Dad looked at me as I was drinking it.
"Do you want some?" I asked. He shook his head, "Yes."
"This is American coffee Dad," I said. "Like you used to drink in America. Remember you drank it at Denny's."
"Denny's" he mumbles as he drinks the coffee.
"And remember Sambo's?" I asked as he drank.
"Sambo's" he mumbles. Then he starts on a lengthy talk about America. I don't understand anything he's saying. The first stroke took his ability to talk. He only mumbles and grunts for the most part unintelligible words.
I shake my head in agreement. Then I say a few names he'd remember from his three decades in Lodi, California.
"Remember Lodi Avenue, Dad?"
"Lodi Aven....."
"Remember Mr. Evans?"
"Mr. Evans....."
He is animated when mentioning these names. They clearly spark pleasant memories to him.
I am planning to be here until April 24. While I am here I will preach at some local churches in the Holy Land. I get small offerings that help pay for some of the expenses of being here.
It's an extremely daunting time in the Holy Land as well. There has been a lot of problems on the Temple Mount which to the Muslims is called the Haram al Sharif (Noble Sanctuary). It is also known as the Dome of the Rock. There is a gate of the Old City called by the Jews "The Eastern Gate." The Muslims call it the Gate of Mercy. This particular gate has been sealed shut for centuries because it is believed by the Jews that it will only be opened when Messiah comes through it. The Prophet Ezekiel said: The Lord said to me, “This gate will stay shut and will not be opened. No one may enter through it because the LordGod of Israel entered through it. It must be kept shut. 3 Only the prince may sit there and eat food in the presence of the Lord. He will enter through the entrance hall of the gateway and leave the same way.”
Sunday, March 17, 2019
a day that began in the
a day that began on the night before
Dad was grunting searching for the floor
his wife she was nervously standing by the door
and I tried to keep the ground from falling in
It a daily ritual, nightly to be sure
what awaits and how no one knows for sure
dad will start his agitations i will start to sweat
even in the coldest night, bed linens are wet
Father up in heaven, I'm calling like a man
Who understands how far and near we stand
I'm so unworthy of Your honors and grace
I'm so in need of Your hand to move this place
A mountain to an ocean
A tree into a sea
the roots still long and hanging
for everyone to see
there's things inside this heart of mine
I try so to conceal
they boil sometimes to the surface
depending how I feel
Your Holy Spirit river
made a walk around
the unforgiving agitations
in this heart I found
One man called it unbrideled
One man calls it free
I find the contradiction
Staring back at me
I dare not judge myself
Like Paul one days said
I'll lean upon the pillar
Lay my weary head
FAther please in Jesus' Name
Don't be too upset
With my failure to measure up
To what I think I could
It's just a few more days
and then my turn to fly
Lord if I could thank YOu
For what You've done inside
The river of living water
That flows day to day
The bread of life that satisfies
and keeps me on the way
Jesus Lord Beloved Friend
I'm sorry for my sins
I thank You Oh So for Your grace
Please keep me in Your hands
And let me soar to heights in You
Your glory here to show
The errors of my past mistakes
Into the sea You pour
Help me make a difference
If only these few days
Given by Your grace to me
there was an opeartion at the Salfit junction and one Israeli soldier was killed. I'm not happy with the glee I see about the killing.
We went and got a wheel chair for dad. I paid the 500 shekels for the deposit. We get it back when we return the chair if no problems with it.
Dad was grunting searching for the floor
his wife she was nervously standing by the door
and I tried to keep the ground from falling in
It a daily ritual, nightly to be sure
what awaits and how no one knows for sure
dad will start his agitations i will start to sweat
even in the coldest night, bed linens are wet
Father up in heaven, I'm calling like a man
Who understands how far and near we stand
I'm so unworthy of Your honors and grace
I'm so in need of Your hand to move this place
A mountain to an ocean
A tree into a sea
the roots still long and hanging
for everyone to see
there's things inside this heart of mine
I try so to conceal
they boil sometimes to the surface
depending how I feel
Your Holy Spirit river
made a walk around
the unforgiving agitations
in this heart I found
One man called it unbrideled
One man calls it free
I find the contradiction
Staring back at me
I dare not judge myself
Like Paul one days said
I'll lean upon the pillar
Lay my weary head
FAther please in Jesus' Name
Don't be too upset
With my failure to measure up
To what I think I could
It's just a few more days
and then my turn to fly
Lord if I could thank YOu
For what You've done inside
The river of living water
That flows day to day
The bread of life that satisfies
and keeps me on the way
Jesus Lord Beloved Friend
I'm sorry for my sins
I thank You Oh So for Your grace
Please keep me in Your hands
And let me soar to heights in You
Your glory here to show
The errors of my past mistakes
Into the sea You pour
Help me make a difference
If only these few days
Given by Your grace to me
there was an opeartion at the Salfit junction and one Israeli soldier was killed. I'm not happy with the glee I see about the killing.
We went and got a wheel chair for dad. I paid the 500 shekels for the deposit. We get it back when we return the chair if no problems with it.
Saturday, March 16, 2019
feeling not too great
have been home for a few days here am frustrated. Got mad at Dad last night. He messed up really bad.
Dad just fell asleep while drinking juice i bought for him.
I've been struggling a little with the jealousy today. Looking at the glorious work that John is doing in Gaza. Also David Wood and all the people he ministers with. Then there's Azad and his ministry and even Yohanna.
Jealousy is not a motivation to do what's right though it does say God will use Gentiles to make the Jews jealous so they will come to Christ.
watching Josef Prince. I needed to get a grace infusion. I was thinking about abusers. We ride them off and put them in an irredeemable class. I was feeling bad after anger at Dad last night and the night before.
Yusra said some thing at night that made me a little sad
She said she had picked two oranges from one of the trees around the house and said that they weren't sure I was going to come so she saved them.
Dad just fell asleep while drinking juice i bought for him.
I've been struggling a little with the jealousy today. Looking at the glorious work that John is doing in Gaza. Also David Wood and all the people he ministers with. Then there's Azad and his ministry and even Yohanna.
Jealousy is not a motivation to do what's right though it does say God will use Gentiles to make the Jews jealous so they will come to Christ.
watching Josef Prince. I needed to get a grace infusion. I was thinking about abusers. We ride them off and put them in an irredeemable class. I was feeling bad after anger at Dad last night and the night before.
Yusra said some thing at night that made me a little sad
She said she had picked two oranges from one of the trees around the house and said that they weren't sure I was going to come so she saved them.
Thursday, March 14, 2019
terrible day in new zealand
a gunman killed 27 muslims at prayer in a mosque in New Zealand. unbelievable
dad had a terrible night....
i slept behind him on sofa
then in mrning he woke me. he had shit on the floor and was dragging his shitty urine bag around. I cleaned the shit. i cleaned him and the bag and put him back to bed. he was asleep last i saw
Yusras asleep. She woke up a while and went back to bed
i think
was a terrible night. Dad was bad all night
he doesn't know what he's doing
i gave him a bath and had breakfast
i'm here kind of bummed waiting for the day to end so the night comes again
i like the nights
what happened in New Zealand will be proclaimed for years and will be considered by Muslims as an attack by Christians.
dad had a terrible night....
i slept behind him on sofa
then in mrning he woke me. he had shit on the floor and was dragging his shitty urine bag around. I cleaned the shit. i cleaned him and the bag and put him back to bed. he was asleep last i saw
Yusras asleep. She woke up a while and went back to bed
i think
was a terrible night. Dad was bad all night
he doesn't know what he's doing
i gave him a bath and had breakfast
i'm here kind of bummed waiting for the day to end so the night comes again
i like the nights
what happened in New Zealand will be proclaimed for years and will be considered by Muslims as an attack by Christians.
dad
there's been a few times I've wrestled with dad to stop him from taking his blankets off and and his clothes.
once 1he was on teh toilet and was trying to do something. i controlled his hands just to let him know i was stronger than him
another time i shoved him for taking his clothes off or peeing on
another time i yelled at him for taking a dump right after i changed his daiper
tonight i fought with him
i kept putting his blankets back on him and telling him to go back to sleep
i felt bad for everything tonight
1. i had to leave a meeting early to come help them put him to sleep
2. Yusra went on her "I can't do this...." shenanigans telling me not to be late again
3. Dad kept getting up. once he started to take his clothes off as if to take a bath and it was 10 p.m.
I feel bad for a few things:
1. that i don't have money to take him and her to America with me
2. thyt she has to put up with this and she has
3. that Ihmaydi puts up with it
4. Where JEsus said let the dead bury their dead
i worry he might be in pain
i see the
once 1he was on teh toilet and was trying to do something. i controlled his hands just to let him know i was stronger than him
another time i shoved him for taking his clothes off or peeing on
another time i yelled at him for taking a dump right after i changed his daiper
tonight i fought with him
i kept putting his blankets back on him and telling him to go back to sleep
i felt bad for everything tonight
1. i had to leave a meeting early to come help them put him to sleep
2. Yusra went on her "I can't do this...." shenanigans telling me not to be late again
3. Dad kept getting up. once he started to take his clothes off as if to take a bath and it was 10 p.m.
I feel bad for a few things:
1. that i don't have money to take him and her to America with me
2. thyt she has to put up with this and she has
3. that Ihmaydi puts up with it
4. Where JEsus said let the dead bury their dead
i worry he might be in pain
i see the
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
My uncle
my uncle has been nice to me lately. he isn't usually nice to me. he has always been harsh and disappointed with me. but lately he has been nice coming over all the time. he told us stories of the family from long ago. like the deaf man story.....
little conf.
this morning y. put the TV so loud i asked her to turn it down.... she said it will guide you and I said Jesus guided me. I can't follow a man who married a 6 year old girl. She said stop this "kufur," it is still loud. Dad is sitting there watching it.
I am waiting to hear from the JEricho minsitry to see if they have a chair for dad. Taysir told me to call them and tell them I worked with them.
went around and saw Ibrahim the Halak and Atta and it was good to see them. I went to Beledia to see the mayor but he wasn't there. He is in America. The vice mayor is here his name I think is Abu Samir.
things are quiet. I'm sitting in my room listening to Bethel Music.
alot is going on on teh Temple Mount.
some Israelis are thinking of building a synagogue and it is likely to start a religious war. Iran will get involved through its proxies.....
With every breath I'm going to sing of the goodness of God
I am waiting to hear from the JEricho minsitry to see if they have a chair for dad. Taysir told me to call them and tell them I worked with them.
went around and saw Ibrahim the Halak and Atta and it was good to see them. I went to Beledia to see the mayor but he wasn't there. He is in America. The vice mayor is here his name I think is Abu Samir.
things are quiet. I'm sitting in my room listening to Bethel Music.
alot is going on on teh Temple Mount.
some Israelis are thinking of building a synagogue and it is likely to start a religious war. Iran will get involved through its proxies.....
With every breath I'm going to sing of the goodness of God
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Mashnis
just found out from Akel that our neeighborhood is known for magic and witchcraft. He it is called the neighborhood of witches for the past 50 years.
crazy night
spent most of yesterday with Dad in the house. went out a while with Najat to ramallah and to the doctor to see about dad's perscription for cancer.
i drove.
then we came back. on the way dad we talked about the cancer..i told everythinig as dad sat and listened.
then when we got back, dad wouldn't take off his coat and keffiyeh and I and Yusra both tried and he wouldn't. Finally, he took hold of me and started talking, real important like. I didn't understand. It was all over the place as far as I could tell. Finally he forced me to take him outside to the gate. I was trying to get him to come back in he wouldn't.
he said my wife and good and a few other words i could figure out
finally he had me walking him out to the street. I called Najat and told her that I was worried about him
she came with Nehaya
we talkead until we reached the end of the street and then Najat came. he walked really good
I thought we could keep walking but I was worried he would get weak and we wouldn't be able to make it back then Najat came. it was night time at the corner
we got in and drove around. ended up getting him Chicken at Hardees. He was really funny telling Najat where to dirve an threatening to hit her with his cane. When we went by the DCO Najat asked which way, DAd said left. She said they will shoot us. HE said "Shoot you." I think he was joking.
i guess I learned not ot just let him push me around. he just keeps pushing me outside and to do things.
we are looking to get him a wheel chair
i drove.
then we came back. on the way dad we talked about the cancer..i told everythinig as dad sat and listened.
then when we got back, dad wouldn't take off his coat and keffiyeh and I and Yusra both tried and he wouldn't. Finally, he took hold of me and started talking, real important like. I didn't understand. It was all over the place as far as I could tell. Finally he forced me to take him outside to the gate. I was trying to get him to come back in he wouldn't.
he said my wife and good and a few other words i could figure out
finally he had me walking him out to the street. I called Najat and told her that I was worried about him
she came with Nehaya
we talkead until we reached the end of the street and then Najat came. he walked really good
I thought we could keep walking but I was worried he would get weak and we wouldn't be able to make it back then Najat came. it was night time at the corner
we got in and drove around. ended up getting him Chicken at Hardees. He was really funny telling Najat where to dirve an threatening to hit her with his cane. When we went by the DCO Najat asked which way, DAd said left. She said they will shoot us. HE said "Shoot you." I think he was joking.
i guess I learned not ot just let him push me around. he just keeps pushing me outside and to do things.
we are looking to get him a wheel chair
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Angry taxis
Sunday
I got up and took a shower and went to Church. But the bus drivers were all mean to me. I thought they might know about me. One refused to let me get on. Then I stood at a corner and another one came by and he wouldn't let me on. He told me to go to the first bus (the one that told me there is no room for me). I did and he again said there is no room for me. I went back and stood at the corner. One bus was just parked in teh middle and wouldn't let anyone on.
Finally the second guy said "Ok come uncle" when I asked him how much the fare was he didn't answer me.
When got to church saw Abu Wardeh and his family they said they wanted me to go have tea with them. I also saw Firas and he sat next to me. Saw all old friends.
had lunch, they want me to preach on Sunday the 24 and 31 because Pastor will be gone...
i got a shareeha for jawal
when i was leaving, I saw Abu Habaas and he was nice to me so it was a a nice taxi driver to counteract the negative taxi drivers.
a lady on the taxi knew everything about Mashnis.
went with Najat and Dad to Al Bayuma whatever was concerned taht N and Y were going to play their game again and Amo Issa came over and stayed for an hour telling us stories about the past of the the family. Wonderful things:
Daoud Al Mashni whose name is on the Shahid board at teh top of village was Amo Mahmoud's brotehr who was killed by Brits.
Ahmed Al Mashni was the brotehr of Amo Ahmed who was killed in Modesto
Also Dad's older brother who was younger than Shaher was FAyez but he died
Also my grandfather Hussein spent years in San Francisco and made money to build the house for himself and his brotehrs. He was a very good man
I bet he got saved in Frisco.....
I got up and took a shower and went to Church. But the bus drivers were all mean to me. I thought they might know about me. One refused to let me get on. Then I stood at a corner and another one came by and he wouldn't let me on. He told me to go to the first bus (the one that told me there is no room for me). I did and he again said there is no room for me. I went back and stood at the corner. One bus was just parked in teh middle and wouldn't let anyone on.
Finally the second guy said "Ok come uncle" when I asked him how much the fare was he didn't answer me.
When got to church saw Abu Wardeh and his family they said they wanted me to go have tea with them. I also saw Firas and he sat next to me. Saw all old friends.
had lunch, they want me to preach on Sunday the 24 and 31 because Pastor will be gone...
i got a shareeha for jawal
when i was leaving, I saw Abu Habaas and he was nice to me so it was a a nice taxi driver to counteract the negative taxi drivers.
a lady on the taxi knew everything about Mashnis.
went with Najat and Dad to Al Bayuma whatever was concerned taht N and Y were going to play their game again and Amo Issa came over and stayed for an hour telling us stories about the past of the the family. Wonderful things:
Daoud Al Mashni whose name is on the Shahid board at teh top of village was Amo Mahmoud's brotehr who was killed by Brits.
Ahmed Al Mashni was the brotehr of Amo Ahmed who was killed in Modesto
Also Dad's older brother who was younger than Shaher was FAyez but he died
Also my grandfather Hussein spent years in San Francisco and made money to build the house for himself and his brotehrs. He was a very good man
I bet he got saved in Frisco.....
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Back in Deir Debwan 2019
after much internal struggle and the fact that Ihmaydi paid for the ticked I came back to Deir Debwan.
it's been a rough couple of months. I had my tizzy with the roomate situation and waited for quiet a while to get my new place. I stayed at Pastor Azad's house. It was quite a time. I helped translate his time at the North American Baptist conference. It was fun I learned alot. He passed. Not everyone did.
He is very impressive in his holiness, love and kindness.
While there I really learned that maybe not everyone is as much of a failure as I am in Christianity and ministry.
the whole cancer thing seems to be over with and not a problem
I came to Holy Land. Was easy in airport.
Watched Whitney and most of Star is Born in the plane
Went to Jerusalem the first night and second night at Metropole Hotel in Ramallah
very reluctantly came to D.D.. Called Najat she came and got me this morning. I waited outside hotel in cold for about an hour and half
Am in the baranda now
Dad is much weaker than before. He barely moves his legs at all when he walks.
Very
i sat with him and watched Redd Foxx and then Um Kolthoum
Yusra is being very nice. Made dinner.
I went with Dad to Najat's and then we went and saw Khitam and her husband. Khatima and her son and daughter in law and granddaughter were there too. Was fun to see everyone there
Lord Jesus. Can Your glory come here. Through one such as me.
Dad seems to understand and tries to communicate
I understood a word he said: pointing to himself he said "Sick"
I saw Amo Issa. He came by a little. Dad was acting up and he left.
I told him about the colon situation and he said he had the same thing
At the Metropole Motel I had I think what were two great revelations:
1. The Coptic Priest spoke about the Word proceeding from teh Father. HE said there is a difference between a thing proceeding and a thing being created. When a thing is made it is a creation. When a thing is of the same nature it proceeds and is a Son. A Son is different from a house. One is made one is of the same nature.
the other is that Jesus said "If I testify of Myself my testimony is not true. There is another Who bears witness of Me. It is He of Whom you say He is Your God.
The works....
I am outside in the baranda now. Dad didn't sleep last night becuase he was so excited about coming to pick me up.
i'm writing this at 240 a.m. i went to bed kind of early like 930 or 10. I listened to some lady praying and quoting scripture. I heard a small noise outside the door. It sounded like someone dropped a stick or something. I got up and saw Dad lying on the floor. He pushed the sofa away from his bed and while holding onto the wooden chair it fell over.
his hat was on the tile behind him
he was so light to pick up. i picked him up and put him on the chair.
then i put him back in the bed.
Yusra got up and complained a little. i told her to go back to bed. she did
it's been a rough couple of months. I had my tizzy with the roomate situation and waited for quiet a while to get my new place. I stayed at Pastor Azad's house. It was quite a time. I helped translate his time at the North American Baptist conference. It was fun I learned alot. He passed. Not everyone did.
He is very impressive in his holiness, love and kindness.
While there I really learned that maybe not everyone is as much of a failure as I am in Christianity and ministry.
the whole cancer thing seems to be over with and not a problem
I came to Holy Land. Was easy in airport.
Watched Whitney and most of Star is Born in the plane
Went to Jerusalem the first night and second night at Metropole Hotel in Ramallah
very reluctantly came to D.D.. Called Najat she came and got me this morning. I waited outside hotel in cold for about an hour and half
Am in the baranda now
Dad is much weaker than before. He barely moves his legs at all when he walks.
Very
i sat with him and watched Redd Foxx and then Um Kolthoum
Yusra is being very nice. Made dinner.
I went with Dad to Najat's and then we went and saw Khitam and her husband. Khatima and her son and daughter in law and granddaughter were there too. Was fun to see everyone there
Lord Jesus. Can Your glory come here. Through one such as me.
Dad seems to understand and tries to communicate
I understood a word he said: pointing to himself he said "Sick"
I saw Amo Issa. He came by a little. Dad was acting up and he left.
I told him about the colon situation and he said he had the same thing
At the Metropole Motel I had I think what were two great revelations:
1. The Coptic Priest spoke about the Word proceeding from teh Father. HE said there is a difference between a thing proceeding and a thing being created. When a thing is made it is a creation. When a thing is of the same nature it proceeds and is a Son. A Son is different from a house. One is made one is of the same nature.
the other is that Jesus said "If I testify of Myself my testimony is not true. There is another Who bears witness of Me. It is He of Whom you say He is Your God.
The works....
I am outside in the baranda now. Dad didn't sleep last night becuase he was so excited about coming to pick me up.
i'm writing this at 240 a.m. i went to bed kind of early like 930 or 10. I listened to some lady praying and quoting scripture. I heard a small noise outside the door. It sounded like someone dropped a stick or something. I got up and saw Dad lying on the floor. He pushed the sofa away from his bed and while holding onto the wooden chair it fell over.
his hat was on the tile behind him
he was so light to pick up. i picked him up and put him on the chair.
then i put him back in the bed.
Yusra got up and complained a little. i told her to go back to bed. she did
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